The planning started many months before but the actual details of the day was down to the eleventh hour. With help from brothers n sisters, we managed to get the venue ready. Thank you to those who helped, we appreciate ur help very much. Prior to that we were having site visits, on-ground assessment of the land formation (as if we are landing a few Chinooks), getting suppliers organised, doing measurements on drawing book, purchasing items needed, using arms n leg as measuring tape. Good planning proves to be key for a successful event. In the morning I brought along a bag of stationary including paper hooks, tapes of different kind, scissors, nylon string, penknife, notebook, 4 pens 2 pencil, ruler, post it notes, rubberbands – end up we only used the penknife to cut open a few packets of fishing weights. U must be wondering why are there fishing weights are a ROM ceremony, well we are at Villa Raintree Spa where the function room ( a glass house) sits ON TOP of a swimming pool, yes on top! Freakin awesome aye? I thought so too. The hard part came, Simon n Kenny who got there early had to sort out the ‘pre-prepared’ fishing lines with weights that somehow decided to tangle themselves in the bag we stored them in. once that’s sorted out we realised we are somehow abit off with our measurements coz our arms n legs aren’t as long as we thot it to be. So, re-cut line, re-hook weights and we were still in time for the balloons to come. By this time the sisters has also arrived and disappeared at the same time, they emerged nicely dress with make up about 15mins later, I swear it was longer. Jasmine was the first to ask “ wat can I do?” Seeing her enthusiasm, I decided to entrust her with a light share of the work. Task for sisters: take 01 balloon with the silver streamer and tie it to 01 fishing line, starting wit the pink colour ones 1st. Jasmine got into the task like a fish into water, Karen pick it up after a few pink ones mixed with orange ones and after that its all pink ones already. Joey, as I remembered failed at task 1.1 which is ‘Take 01 balloon’ ! After my demo which I must say is simplified n easy to follow, she said ok, very easy. Then I proceed to pass her 01 balloon, which managed to slip of out of her hand n she let out a scream; lasted less than 1.5 seconds. Amidst the laughter, I had a sudden fear of ‘not enough balloons’ she reassured me: okok, 1 oni, ok? The balloon saga went about witout much slip up after that and we had lots of fun rushing in the hot sun. Along wit the sun also came the wind, good for us but not good for my balloons! These coloured heart shape beauties were initially floating nicely n proudly up high along the wooden walkway and inside the pool. A mass strike occurred as they decided not to fly high, wit swift n precision Simon cut a equally long line to hold the structure together much to my delight. Now, those balloons in the pool decided to slap on some tanning lotion n took a dip in the pool. As much as im prepared (I wore swimming trunks inside) I wasn’t too sure abt displaying my flabs in broad daylight publicly. But time is nearly up, I had to do wat I had to do. I got in the pool half naked moving the balloons around n even to the extend of drying them so the helium inside can take them flying again. Kenny whips his cam out n fired a few shots off which he intends to sell it on the black market in future. When all is finally done, we took a final check and said ‘bo time liao, later sort along the way’. I shoot off to get myself ready in the tranquil spa toilet but the slow flowing water n the yoga music did not calm my nerves. Im nervous, im sure my bb is nervous too. Before Simon left to pick Mdm Wee I had to remind him that she is an English educated lady who would mind his hokkieness or being called a ‘sodomiser’! All these while the communication wit the bride’s car did not lapse. Whatever happening on her side, im well aware n information is within my finger tips. Chop chop kali pok, I ready I go out wait. By this time, parents in law arrived n my little sister in law pretty as always was helping to entertain the sisters. Parents arrived not long after together wit Ah Ma. I went forward to lead Ah Ma in. I had a practise of the wooden walkway and was timing the steps but I can stil hear Ah Ma saying “I happy for u today, u getting married, where is Ah Hwee?” Her words brings warmth to my heart. The moment has arrived!! It is the arrival of the ‘Dry Ice’ organise by me, picked up by Brandon. We will know if this works! The arrival of the dry ice also triggered the arrival of the Bride. I shld be happy that she is here, but all I could ask over the phone was “why come now? I no ask u come, u come for wat?” My apologies to Chen Tai (my informant). The dry ice is not in place, thus not perfect, thus my Bride cannot come yet. Drinking water, pool water, any water I can grab I poured into the dry ice container. I think I shouted ‘fuck’ softly as it din ve that misty smoky effect that covered the wooden walkway as I intended it to be. Luckily we got some petals that was scattered in the morning, by who I cannot recall but thank u :p Wit little mist n smoky effect, I signalled the start of the event! Camera shutters, videocam rolling, ACTION.

Out came my beautiful Bride from the car lookin graciously glamorous with sun in her eyes she managed to reflect her brightness and shine onto everyone there. Bubbles flying, Sisters leading My Bride inched closer n closer to me, standing jus outside the glass house. Walkway being a L-Shape, my Father in Law was standing there and the sisters blended into the background, the centre of attraction for that moment walked to her dad and swung her arms ard his. Together they walked towards the glass house, my heart was pounding. The pounding excitement din stop even after they ve stopped. As Father in Law pass her hand to me, I accepted wit heart n soul and that translated to “Pa, I will take good care of her in future”

The ceremony started when Mdm Wee gestured everyone to have a seat. She started by congratulating us and explained her role for being there. I particularly like her version of “im here to see to that this man and this woman comes together as one”. She also gave us the rules n regulations of the Singapore Lawful Marriage Act 01 to 99. No, her speech wasn’t that long. Our speech was in fact longer one after the other. Our wedding vows are to be kept in our hearts and as well as those that we wanted them to be there to share our joy, our commitment, our bliss. The only hiccup is that we didn’t get a picture of the bride signing the papers as she does it in 0.001 Nano seconds wit her signature and the Groom’s Father smile til cant see eyes picture. But hey, 3 cameras I cant complain, 3 cam – 2 pro, none of them caught it, I cant complain. 3 cam 3 brother did for free, I cant complain. I cannot complain, u know!

Once the speeches were done and tears dried, Mdm Wee had to leave, so we step out into the hot sun, send her off and called for food to be served. Before that, we had a few pictures wit Mdm Wee and promised we will send her the pictures and a copy of our vows coz she loved it so much she asked if she can have a copy. We din consider the greenhouse effect until we felt the heat as we savour our dishes. And knowing my Father, he had to top it off wit a geography lesson in the middle of the meal. He had a two-tone shirt I thot, but he was actually perspiring. Once the heaty and hearty lunch was over, we proceeded for more pictures around the spa, inside the spa. Brandon brought his ‘bbq pit’ n had his fun too. Boon Chian delighted the sisters by taking off his shirt. Pictures will be my showcase of the effort the photographers put in and the happiness of the newly wed and of coz the pride oozing fr our parents. I nearly left the place without paying haha.

We proceeded to our favourite joint after the photo taking for more photo taking. Ulu place but cozy n nice ambience for a getaway plus it brings back memory of the celebrations we had/have there. Thank Us for the upgrade, we love the bigger space. Living room, toilet, bedroom, sofa … where shall we ‘start’ ?? :P lol The nite was blur after the drinks, I did my 1st duty as a husband helping wife at the toilet bowl expelling the alcohol and then . . . oops X-rated, cannot tell u. Byez, thank for taking time to read and shared our happiness. We present “Mr. & Mrs. Tan”

A time comes in your life when you finally have had it, in the midst of all your uncertainties and insanity, you come to a dead end and voices inside cries "Enough is ENOUGH!" i have not return to this blog for almost a year. Alot has happened since... read on to find out who what when where how. I do nt know why it took me a year to come up with something. Perhaps a part of heart died when i knew nothing i do/did was good enough. A recent visit during CNY to our usual feng shui master denotes a new start to my lunar year. Master hardly bullshits.. to the point and he started with “this is your year, your ‘xiao ren’ has left” and this is why i write. Sky is blue, clear and bright. Enough complaining and hostility to people you no longer have feelings to; you know who u r! What’s left is me struggling to hold on. And, like a 3 yr old kid quieting down after parading a tantrum, my sobs subside, i shudder a few times, i wipe my tears and begin to look at the world again. This is MY awakening. i realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for exhilaration, wellbeing, and sanctuary to come galloping over the far horizon like a new day... I ve come to terms with the fact that im are neither Andy Lau nor Beckham. And in OUR real world now, its not all sweet n honey; there aint fairy tale endings not to mention beginnings. Fact – we are not perfect and not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what we are...but that's OK. You are entitled to your own views and opinions. I learned the importance of loving and figuring oneself.. you open up to new worlds and different points of view, you reassess and redefine who you are and what you stand for. i stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to me. People dont always say what they mean or mean what they say, not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. Learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself please... im, you should too.

Past year i learned ...

Stop judging and dun pointing fingers and we begin to accept people as they are and overlook their shortcomings and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. All but one. I dunno why she n i cant get along. You learn to look at relationships as it is at value and not as you would have them be. You learn that you don't know everything or most things, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a cow to play the piano. Honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which i build my life. i have been, wat about u? You learn to distinguish wats guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting perimeters and learning to say NO to people you dun like. You stop trying - at controlling people, situations, and even outcomes. And then alone does not mean lonely. You learn that feelings of entitlement, and it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want -- and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands becos pple are deaf. You learn that your body really is your temple; you begin to care respect it; eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with sensitivity, love, kindness + respect - you dun settle for less. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. Note: learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, bit of luck and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone – but then if you want the job done; who better to do it but yourself? You learn that negative feelings such as resentment or anger must be understood and redirected before they drain and poison you. You learn to admit when you are wrong; make love not war. You learn to be grateful and take comfort in simplicity; dun take things for granted.

Summary: Take responsibility for yourself, keep smiling, keep an open mind, dun settle for less. With God by your side and courage in your heart, take stand, deep breath, and devise as best you can the life you want to live.

"Dear God, I have never thanked you for my victories. I prayed a thousand times for my miseries, but never once for my victories. Teach me the glory of the cross we bear; teach me the
value of my victories. Show me I have come closer to you along the path of my miseries. Show me, guide me, direct me through my tears, the colors of your rainbow is more vibrant."

Thank you also these wonderful time and memories. Allow me to share 2009 . . .

April - Trip to Perhentian, virgin trip to Perhentian. Nice resort, nice owners, but crappy guide. Wonderful service, food and post dive events. Memorable incident: fucker shoot SMB at 22m with 15m reel. Kept asking 'wtf' at 22m initially, 20, 18, 16, 14, 10, 7 and at least 10times at 5m SS.

May Labor Holiday to Maleka, pronounce 'mer-la-ker'. Mac breakfast in Jurong, A&W lunch, followed by sampling of an assortment of awesome local delights. However, no try satay, no chicken rice, no ice kachang! Yeah, we go again next time :P

May - Trip Layang Layang, virgin trip also. Great dive buddies, awesome food and post dives activities. Visited KK town. Memorable incident: Mr Wong stopped by airport police; we pay same price leh; RM$0.50 for an egg; Decomp princess; 'bro, why u brush teeth naked huh?'; and finally half of one of the six!!! NB

June was a hectic month, we were busy collecting namecards of property agents. Nearly bought a 84 sqm tin can in little india; we survey the place at different timings; even took a walk on a saturday night and talked to the cisco guards too - blinded by what we didnt know, we tried to convince ourselves we should get it .. but 1st shop 1st purchase, sorry not my style. We went from little india to somewhere nearer in farrer park to near my place - hougang, buangkok, serangoon, macpherson to near her place - Jln membina, bukit merah, telok blangah cres (which we loved also), kim tian, stratmore, queenstown, tiong bahru... and finally decided to put our foot down for a 100 sqm 4 room nest that we call ours. Among lush greenery with amenities nearby (Market, MRT, School) we settled for Redhill. Some might say we are cabbage! but we have no regrets. Size - bigger than your BTO tin cans, geared for family expansion in the future. Price - its still going up for my block. The only thing im worried is if this is the price im paying now, how much would a flat cost when my kids wish to purchase one??? Meantime --- prepare for house warming in jun/may depending on reno works (dun get me started). We need the following items --> Coffee maker, iron + iron board, blender, steamer, food processor, blu-ray player, LED 32" TV + borsch speakers systems, vacum cleaner and maid. Feel free to chip in or add on to the list haha. Kidding, jus come and enjoy food, our company and our visual pleasures!

Having spend a large sum of money that the govt played a part in, i felt the urge that i have to give back. So i wore red & white on 9th August 2009. Did you? did you really?

Aug - Pulau Sibu, Birds is better than fishes . . .

September - Trip to Bangkok finally. Many places i never been before . . bar at this sky centre place, chatuchuk (to check spelling), patunam centre etc. Bought many things, i bought shirts & T-shirts, she buy bra. Thailand cheaper kup! Went many places and eventually found my hugo boss :P

Suddenly i feel like stopping here... good night. October 09 is a new chapter in my life. Will dedicate a page for it :)

Hunter or Farmer?

U one who is creative? you one of them? Im !! If u r, u know perfectly well how ur views are received by ur boss, and surely u’re tired of it. I would like to be taken seriously ...for once.

U presents a rational argument against a theory; in my line of work... wats rational? Our views will be dismissed as meaningless rant; the best method is to point out the verifiable fact that clearly contradicts the theory, yes contradict! But wait … to do that... u must understand the fucking theory, so that u r well aware of what might contradict it. Or at least when someone ask “ wtf u talkin abt”, u can explain. To put it bluntly, u need to know wtf u dig!

Evidence u present can be something u chance upon or discovered, which turns out u wrongly understood or think u can use… so sad for u, really im. Even bogus to a certain extend! If u really got something, u be careful, because u will use it to ur full advantage and this is where crooks and cranks and Einstein wannabes fuckers so often go astray.

By merely pointing out the redundant doesn’t bring a well-established theory crashing down in ruins specially if the theory never depended on such evidence in the first place. At most, I give u credit for ur data management.

One other method is to illustrate all of the available evidence better than the existing viewpoint. Its a difficult task, but not impossible. Contrary to the frequent complaints, naggin and counselling, u urself in fact is closed-minded to new theories. In the last century in this lifetime ur lifetime my lifetime, general relativity, quantum physics, how God create the world in 7 days, and even magma movement prevailed over initial skepticism. But to devise a new theory, u need to know what is and what isn’t. Implementation of an untested theory is a waste of everyone’s time. The more evidences is produced, the more difficult it becomes to concoct a credible alternative, right? So what choices are there? And the objectives are clear… very clear to me.

I do not argue:
1. U ignore, dislike of, nor refusal to accept my side of story will serve as objections. All such arguments are really about you, not the viewpoint.
2. No lao jiao can claims they knows everything, or can solved all problems; and no procedures has been subjected to all possible tests. Therefore, pointing out that that there are things not yet known, tests not yet made, or problems not yet solved, isn’t much of an argument. Unsolved problems are part and parcel of daily life, and no unresolved question, by its mere existence, is a magic blow that will bring a ‘firewall’ crashing down.
3. Its obvious that verifiable facts dun mean anything to u; its just ur credibility. U r intellectually vacuous and u appear ridiculous.
4. Other arguments are attempts to discredit character? unrelated topics? irrelevant to viewpoint? Mr E=MC2 Isaac Newton was said to be an unpleasant man, and Beethoven was deaf; but their value is not affected by such irrelevancies.

Enough said. If u r reading, read on. If u r not, i invite u to fuck off please (see, i can be nice too, dickface)

I pen off in January talking about id104 drivers, ah nei’s slippers & putting words into action. Jus before CNY, we knew we had to get away for awhile as we will be bombarded by ‘wu peng you bor?’, ‘tiang si gao eng?’ – questions we dread, not becos we dun wanna face it. But rather we cant say ‘aiya, have la, wait for invitation’. There were several options and we took one we both happily agreed on. Bintan here we come. .

Then Valentine’s Day

Then Myanmar trip...

Then 4th March 2009...
Speech goes: i choose this date is because the significance of 三月四号 , one life whole lifetime. It is time to put our hands together and also our love together. Will you marry me?

Finally we did the Singapore flyer...

What a year, what a year, what a year!!!

i never thot my 1st entry for 2009 will be from camp. Jus before the main body move out, we had a bit of time..thus im here. Why am i in camp? why do i stil need to serve ICT.. someone asked me. well...long long time ago, someone clerk in mindef forgot all about us ..those who RODed and suppose to serve our reservist. and almost 8yrs later they suddenly found our database and called us up. Funny thing is, i defered 3yrs to go study, why take another 5yrs to find me? this is something they cannot answer nor i wanna find out.

Anyway, as 08 comes to an end, i wish everyone have a blessed year ahead, even for those who crossed my path!!! We civilised pple do not dwell on the past neither do we bear grudges. I pray for safe landing for all. God do not promise a smooth passage but HE certainly brings you to a safe landing. Bear in mind and sleep peacefully at night (if u can :P )

How my 08 ended? hmmm... bit of everything actually! let me recall where i left off. After my last post, there was myanmar.. nothing much, same old same old. each time i go, it always makes the pple go goo goo gaga. I learned that smaller establishment are finding it hard to compete with the big guns. If i run seminars with them, the enquiries will always ask if your kieren tan is the same kieren tan holding the seminar at traders hotel? How many kieren tan can there be in Yangon? They choose to go to the one at hotel... i can only tell agents: the big guns started with in-house also. I thot it would be my last trip for the year and also possibly my last trip EVER. FCB, im planning for Feb trip now...wtf? Hopefully for the love of God, this shall be the last ever!

Coming back from myanmar, i was outta Singapore the very next weekend to Ipoh. Uni fren's wedding... baby had to follow cos name in invitation card :) i know you dun like 8hrs bus rides. We shall fly more often.

Which we intended for her birthday, but who would know thai protestors "took over" the airport! How can government allow such a thing to happen? I question their security & system. What if its in times of war? They lose a stronghold to deploy their planes and loses their airspace. Enemy can use it as a supply port for supplies and reinforcement. I bet my last dollar this will never happen to Changi airport. Simply becos - 1. there are armed SAF/Police/STAR/SOF protecting our international airport. 2. singaporeans do not have guts to stage something of this scale. 3. govt will give protestors NTUC vouchers as incentives to stop protesting. That auntie who said her lugguage had a bomb is downright "gong". What??? never take plane before huh? maybe its her first time on a plane... but she dont watch news or read papers? where has she been for the past 10yrs?

So... with the protesting going on n on with no dates of surrender, we cancelled our long awaited trip. i was really really looking forward to that trip. We got back 100% of everything! Mum was shouting n screaming terrorist, danger, bangkok, dont go dont go. To give her a peace of mind, we cancelled and even asked sis not to bring the kids there! but guess what she did??? In the midst of the 'last' protestor stepping out, Mum & Dad flew in! Chey...was my reaction! i shld have gone ahead and go do a 'year end' shopping too!

But Baby's birthday we had to go somewhere right? So ... it was a total 're-make' of birthday 2007. Same place, same setting, same fondue. But we didnt make out at the pool this time ;p

One year add one stalk

I had to clear 9.5 days of leave... so during peak period also can take. And everybody started taking all sorts of leave to my surprise. I thot from heaven came a hand to set us free.. which in actuat fact is not la. Too busy no time, win lor. When under pressure or busy anything goes. Then when pple busy come ask stupid question. You asked stupid question expects stupid answer la, tio bo? Last time do like that wrong, are we going to continue to do wrong way??? Thats the best you can? C'mon, do your worst ...

CNY's mahjong session came early. We played mahjong on X'mas day :) which is fun... cos end of the 5hrs of thinking, thoughts, think i lost 50c. Wats more important is the 'inclusion' of bf for a girls outing! Im glad i ve gotten the stamp of approval n acceptance fr Baby's frens... then maybe they jus wanted another leg for mahjong!! ;p oh, did i tell you what we did in town? We went around dressed in white, wearing mini X'mas hats and walked orchard road. I strongly believe - that hat will be kept and will re-appear in 2009 X'mas. Well, Baby had her fun, so did i :)

New year ... as per SOP, we had to have fireworks. Baby says its beautiful and signifies a new start. So ... there we were on 31st Dec at 30mins before midnight walking towards fullerton. As we head for our destination (Bridge = Best view), we found ourselves stuck in a crowd that made up of singaporeans + foreigners. Yes.. by that i meant: tiong, angmos + ah nei! As much as i wanna get into the spirit of a new beginning ..i dont fancy being molested by sweaty n smelling ah nei. I kid you not, if he had butter, my ass would have been 'intruded' we were THAT close! Nevertheless, we had fun n manage to shoot some shots of fireworks. Oh...the uncle / ah nei who lost your slipper, its near the traffic light junction in front of fullerton hotel. haha

Highlights of 2008 ... well...quite a few. . . but i can only recall those nearer to the 4th quarter, as they say ... whats past is past. But no, someone has to bring up old times!!! Fuck you la, unless i call you brother or i drinking beer with you, dont think that you are in a position to criticise. Pple make mistakes, i make mistakes, i admit i change for better. End of the day, i say to myself: this is just part n parcel of life, no pride no glory if you put someone down, if i were to walk out that door someday, my head will be held high. My question to you is "Can you do the same? " Think about it... there are things called karma. Im done cursing, you will get yours one fine day... (dun think you are untouchable). 不是时辰不到, 只是时辰未到. There was a funny thing - "alarm alarm" for an ongoing thing. I nearly laughed. This was during the 混乱世纪 where everyone had somethin to do. If i can do it, my brother David Teo wont be charging so much liao loh!!! I think that project on the outside market is worth at least $10k. During 混乱世纪, who did well? Few did well, few frozed. Names were mentioned, pls remember can liao, no rewards needed. In 3 months, 3 hand & leg left consecutively. If you had played your cards right, maybe it wont happen at all. You fucked youself! you deprived yourself of that 70% consideration factor. bleah! Since the departures, its been sub-zero temperature in there. Pple get hostile, annoyed easily among other 'post promotion' symtoms ..

Thoughts:

i have to talk about this ... that suicidal foreign worker who walked in the tiger's den is admirable for his courage to go like this! 不带走一片云彩 i can hear him shout!! hey hey, lets not get racist here, i know his nationality too, he may not be able to say, but he certainly did it with vigor n style! If i were to go, i choose a less hassle way. So please remember, after i leave, please have me cremated and sprinkle my ashes in the sea. No need to hire a diver, my son/daughter will be a diver. They can have the honour of doing it.

Another thing i wish to bring up (tho i had the last time, those idiots are still doing it)... drivers, if you cant drive following the rules, please surrender your licence and ask for a fine at LTA. Although the street lamps are lit, please turn on your freakin headlights if you are driving at night. If you dunno how to drive, you can learn becos not many pple can tolerate stupidity. Wanna get yourself killed, its fine by me. But dun drag other pple into it.

08 went by in a flash... ask me if i were to relive 08 again wat would i change: NOTHING! We have been together for more than a year now. If given the chace to do it all over again, i would have done the same thing, went the same place, bought the same gifts. But maybe shower baby with more love. I strongly feel i have not given enough, she keeps saying i dunno how to love back. Baby, im not asking for anything in return. Love may not be a word that hangs around my lips all the time, but thru my actions, i think you can see how much i love you and wat i put into this relationship. We have big plans, i may ve delay talking about it, thats becos i wanna have something concrete before coming to you. Dreams are dreams and only if we work hand in hand we can make our dreams into reality. My love for you is always a journey, never a destination. I look forward to venturing into new chapter of our lives, something to call 'ours'. It time to put plans into action. If not now, when? If not you, who? With the blessings we are getting, im confident we can write our fairytale's ending: They live happily everafter!

We know when we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it . . .

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about ur age. I tried but the wrinkles on my face I couldn’t lie.

Ok im celebrating my birthday again... a normal one, the “decade changing” one happened 3 years ago and yupz wat they say is true ..once u go pass 30… the candles jus keep stacking up; this on creeped up on me ever so quietly. Wherever has the time gone?

Im particulary excited abt this one actually ..as this is the one im celebrating last as a single man! Dang!! Where my bros wit the beers and dancing stripper? Oops.. :)
And then ….. I ve to say: HEY … by no means am I "old" but I definitely felt a sense of being "older". And with age, I am changing - as a person. My values and priorities are much sharper with clear clarity and precision focus. And they are shifting from the kinda things a young adult male wants to things that seem more profound and real to me now.


Being older and maybe wiser .. :p I would like to share with u . . .
Life is not about work and work only.
No matter where u at, dun care if u are at work, at home or in church. End of the day, pple u work with is pple u work with.. simple as that. Unless these pple bothers to seek u after work or over a personal issue. Today I see a man with vision open his shop. I recall watching all the people who came to celebrate his opening. The day I resolved to be like him and do what it takes to make a difference in people. Thru the roads and turns I ve taken – in many years to come I wan people to come and celebrate my life - which is far bigger than celebrating a single birthday.


Watever efforts… its all about outcome.
To those who gives a damn, I celebrate ur efforts. With them who did somethin, I appreciate ur efforts. U talk to pple up there, they say "I'm going to try to do that. Then pls "Do! Dun jus talk." Words have so much power, and how I speak have some bearing on how I act. So I discipline myself to not even use the language of attempt. When I tell myself or others, I use the word "do" as much as I can. I want to achieve real meaningful results. Don't settle for less than ur best by substituting effort for results


On this birthday, I hope u can pick up the ‘fire’ in u and run with it and make a difference to those around u as well.

My celebration started wit two, not one delivery to the office. I wasn’t expecting any delivery as Baobei says she is too busy and dunno wat to do. As usual, I was expecting a simple dinner like any other years. There was one, then there was two! A cake was delivered (I was told several pple were involved in keeping it a secret) and the delivery man got lost too. Then came the flowers . . as much as being ‘malu’ getting flowers, its always good to get some. Can understand fr A to Z in relation to a woman saying “dun waste money on flowers” to receiving the bouquet of flowers. All these done right under my nose… amazing ! and I ve to give her full points for effort and idea. Come to think of it . . we ate n ate for 4 days. Its almost like a traditional festival where celebration goes on for days. Squid ink spaghetti wasn’t impressive, but then again its rather who I ate wit n not wat I ate. Ikoi was GOOD!! Wat struck me was when she said ‘ for a marine lover, u eat a lot of fish’ and I added ‘oh.. u shld ve been there when we had live lobster sashimi’ (im thinking I need seawater soon, if not I see fishes ON plates more than in their natural environment). All in all; I ate-ed: chocolate cake, pasta, jap salad, sashimi- salmon+yellow tail+sword+sotong, tempura, chocolate pie n chocolate coffee, Malay cuisine + Malay kueh, Burmese Mo hing Nga n noodle salad, sansui chicken cabbage wrap, ah ma tapioca leaves, olive rice (well, I gave mine to en en), toastbox thick toast, n a home-cooked dinner and a blackforest cake. To compensate the lost of 4kgs..i ate 5kgs worth of food over 4days. I cant complain!

To my baobei, thank u for the arrangements n companionship. Henna henna there were some tears I tried to hide.

To all those msg on facebook, SMSes, calls and emails, thank u thank u. thank u for remembering :)

Haven wrote for a long time.

Wont be much pictures this time also.. maybe some from the trip I did in july/aug. But I do have a few question in mind. Dun ya jus think abt anything or everythin when u r all alone sittin under the stars..moon …yadda yadda. We got brains, we use it. Nicky once said: you are given a brain, use it. Dun use it to cushion your ass” or something to that effect! Over time, I really wonder why the hell we jump fr a hole into another hole? Come to think of it, it’s the same hole? There is shit in it. And at any one point in your life, u can only be in ONE hole! Face it – we cant handle more than 2 holes at any one time. Wake up, smell the shit! We cant! If by choice of cos I wouldn’t wanna be an armchair individual, I wanna be out there, fightin a war if there is one.


Qns: why is 9th September 2009 such an important date?
Ans: this is the date we declare the love we have for each other.


Qns: why do we like sharing at times?
Ans: so that the other party can understand wat we think/thinkin


Qns: why do people talk as if the world cant hear them?
Ans: likely they are from the biggest country on earth and they stand pretty far apart


Qns: why do people drive without lights on?
Ans: they are train in night driving and they read “Dummy driving”


Qns: why do I feel nonchalant about my last Myanmar trip?
Ans: I am sick of all these shit cos im never gonna live up to her expectations.


Qns: why can pple open eyes and talk prawn language?
Ans: im not featured in their plans


Qns: why am I considering a competitor?
Ans: so that she can take it like a man


Qns: why am I considering before I consider other?
Ans: I feel there is hope, *ptui my fucking ass!


Qns: why is the zoo such a bad place?
Ans: the animals got wilder and outta control


Qns: why we have so many bananas n pple trippin?
Ans: bad monkey


Qns: why is it sour and aint fresh no more?
Ans: bad cow


Qns: why we have money to make and we aint making it?
Ans: bad donkey


Qns: why aren’t u saying hello anymore?
Ans: bad pig


Qns: why why why?
Ans: because so …


July trip to tioman – omg everythin else was good. The only thing is the vis! F up is an understatement…

I am starting to write even before I reach yangon.. as the captain of silkair flight MI512 announced that we are cruising at altitude of 10,000 feet with a ground speed of almost 700km/hr up here – I started to think abt bao bei. Sg time now shld be 9am… she is getting ready to wake up, maybe nt outta bed yet, maybe tired from the tearing jus now, maybe lookin forward to a Friday, maybe lookin forward to two Mondays from now, maybe lookin forward to reading the straits times tmr. . im thinking of her. As I write on, I subconsciously wanna write better as a certain teacher might be reading this. But hey, all my teachers read wat I wrote for yonks and none of my pieces seem to impress, so I sure aint gonna impress now nor improve. i used to write how I write and how I wanna write and too bad – this my blog bleah ;p And yes u guessed it, im going to Myanmar now. Many pple think I ve a woman in Myanmar .. which in fact I really dun ve as I ve ‘several’ there hah! These women are those I ve been workin so closely with for the past one year ‘servicing’ them .. close enough to address each other sis n bro. And when Nargis hit Myanmar, I worried for them and their family, I felt compelled to do something. And when they risk their safety to get news out to me, I was overwhelmed to tears. As rescue work went on at affected areas, tickets needs to be booked, seminars required confirmation, media news calls for updates, humanitarian assistance gathers, uncertainties ve to addressed, worries has to be reassured, hearts comforted.. Burma lives on! The hardest thing I had to do was to convince bao bei I’ll be back in ONE piece safe n sound, back to love her more, back to renew our love, back in her arms, her care, her concern, her love. . . Love is my driving force and my only reason for a safe return. Holy smokes, I thot I heard the plane engine stopped. This aint the time, my time is not up yet. The plane continues.. so will my writing. However - Brain juice not flowing.. I can only think of bao bei. Shall stop now and continue when we land, when ugly flight attendants r not walkin ard, when mr bean stops coming on screen, when laptop dun suddenly die on me… I had 2.2 hours 10mins ago, now I ve 8mins…wtf? Had some time before the ugly pple in uniform bugs me again..so ..here’s me wrapped in blanket playing ipod and canon. . .

Seeing this paragraph means the plane landed safely and im in Myanmar. I started to think why I write only when im on trips.. maybe its cos times away from her, I pass my time thinking n missing her. Airport custom was smooth as I was afraid I’ll be detained cos of the suitcase of medication I brought in. Streets looked alright to me, perhaps I couldn’t tell the difference, but I was told trees have been cleared off the roads. The aftermath of Nargis has left some roads inaccessible. As we steer into the city, familiar sights greeted this traveler tho some billboards has been ‘relocated’. Reached hotel even before they asked for my passport to check in; my response to them saying “welcome back Mr Tan” was – I would like an instructional manual and charges for IDD calling Singapore, and I wan it yesterday!!! The connection miles away brought our hearts closer when I heard the voice on the phone : “baby!” Bao bei didn’t think it could be someone else. Luckily its her baby on the other side of the globe. Had quick chat but it was more than enough to get me going for the trip. The first of its kind in Myanmar by an institute press conference was held. Close to 20 journalists from 11 different media house turned up and we had a great time talking about Singapore.

~~ Newpaper feature:

Dinner was great, we went back to this place we had dinner during my first trip in 2007. Familiarity with new faces, reality sets in – I cant be doing this all my life. There will come a time where im too old for this shit and I would say ‘enough is enough’ but jus when and how much is enough? Tomorrow Mandalay!

Nothing much, met student, principals + some old frens. All I was looking forward was getting back n hooking up that modem! Had a quick coffee and headed back. When it was time, I flew out of the hotel like a possessed man determined to find an internet café. How I wish they had a rope from the 16th floor. Connection was awesomely good, did some work and connected meebo. The tired day and jetlag went away almost instantly when baby’s window popped out. My heart popped out too, I was excited to know how her day got on and vice visa. The party is tomorrow and I certainly hope she will do alright. To date, she has only been involved in a handful of family events.. the disciple will now be tested and if she can get thru the burning cauldron and the shaolin 18 monks, she will be release to leave the mountain. I ve full confidence she will ace this event! No doubts no reservations. Now, back in the room … I fuckin realize wallet I kept in my back pocket is gone. Called recep n somehow got a number of a taxi driver, called n was put on hold, directed to two drivers and then to the place I took the taxi – none of this ‘non-English’ natives could understand English let alone lend a helping hand. Went back to internet café n park royal (where I took taxi); reported lost and got the duty manager out of bed along with security guards we had a ‘conversation’ – words involved: taxi, park royal, traders, bag. Apparently they do not understand wat the heck is a ‘wallet’. So from the time I reported lost till I got into bed. I had to say I lost a bag and inside this bag is where I put my money. I lost my bag! I lost my bag! Along with it my cash, my cards, my alertness, my spirit, my Nargis relief funds. Baby will be worried. Baby will be worried sick. Baby might not have the mood to go party or work. I’ll keep from her fr the time being until I seek official help. Tomorrow is Sunday, dun even know if the police is open for business, but one thing sure icpas aint operating. I only ve my Burmese brothers n sisters to turn to.

Today is an early day, seminar at 8am. Luckily its close by if not I ve to get up pretty early. Wanted to blurp out everythin but b4 I could do so, we ve reached, I guess thuthu grasped the meaning of ‘a stone throw away’ . . Met principal cum teacher and his wife, CPA get from MAC ..Myanmar Accounting Council I learned fr him. Medium level of responsiveness from these lot.. I need to learn more Burmese to engage them I felt. Had a small window to drop by thuthu’s office. Went in sent sos email and left. Didn’t think much of it as I thought they would take some time to consult ‘mgmt’ or even gather some form of assistance. Dang! I was wrong, in a short period of less than 5hrs, they replied asking how much is needed to be sent to me. By the time I saw that email, I knew I stuff up.. they would ve surrounded my baby and asked stupid questions. And I was dead on ‘nasa style’ accurate abt my thots. Who is mixing work n personal now?

The day 27 of May 2008 this day – it’s a meaningful day for me, for mankind, for humanitarian. We bought food items, medicine and 500kgs of rice to distribute to cyclone hit villagers. Along the way, this is a different side of yangon that I ve nt seen. As we arrive we could see a crowd gathered infront of the distribution station. We attracted curious villagers as we set up a barricade and the village headman has to step up and keep them in order. Swift organization allowed us to start very soon. You can clearly see how much these pple has suffered and all I wanna do was to get it over so they can bring the items home to their families. When we had extra to give out, I was told only children could line up for it. Things turn a wee bit rowdy and it was grab ‘any’ kid from the street kinda of rowdy. Strong able man had to step in and put some pple away. Distribution started when all was in order again. Once we finished there was cheers from the crowd and few pple came forth and said prayers with tears. Translation – God bless you with a good heart, its your good heart that save us. We visited the village after a chat with the headman. As we walked in, I was fighting tears seeing the devastated state of wats left that these villagers call home. Its started raining and villagers came running out wit umbrellas.. moved n touched beyond words. Thant said: immediate rewards. Had time b4 we head for airport, went in to check emails fr baby. Managed some words but more than enough for a short prayer before a domestic flight. Shocking news, the first time I see efficiency at work – they managed to get a cheque signed and deposited. Till now im at shocked and lost for words. Pictures of the ‘relief’ help:

Nothing much, pretty much like Mandalay. Oh sorry, maybe I had very high expectations from stories I heard. Got back and went for a work out, sry baby the soft tummy is going away for good! 1800 hrs Rangoon time I got the ‘relief’ funds. Paid my debts and settled some bills. Millionaire overnight .. really, I had 2.1 million.

Met an agent whom I didn’t get to meet on my last trip and DK met n briefed. Well basically he asked every single question there is to be asked and took notes as if im giving tips to his exam. When I asked ‘didn’t DK brief or train your staff’ I wasn’t expecting AT ALL - ‘yes, but we dun understand wat he is saying’ as answer. Am I speaking Burmese? English – Na Ma Le Bu !!! am i speak burmese? i no speaking burmese, i speaking english only. . Nabei !

Next few days went on without much fuss. Met agents, did training, consult students, went to schs. Beside the normal things that’s normally done, I lost the compassion I ve for the kids in the streets knowing that they r the ones always ard that area, sayin the same thing to foreigners, nt doing something with their lives – compared to those who really lost their homes n needed help. Perhaps I ve grown smarter. This trip my TV is on CNN everyday, monitoring the news – Nargis n szechuan and then Iceland – 6.2 quake. Kinda set my mind thinking, mother nature testing the pple? Seeing these news makes me long for home more. I miss bao bei, I miss hm. I miss her laughter, I miss talking to her, I miss holding her hands, I miss her cough (nt that I like to hear), I miss the way she looks at me, I miss her sayang, I miss her hugs, I miss her jovial spirit, I miss her sayin she miss me. There is more contact hours this trip, but I still felt its nt enough. If all is well, this could well be my last trip and then there would be no more separate ever. But I do know that the only union that will nt separate is the one where we hold each others’ hand and say “I do” – in sickness and in health, to love and to hold, til death do us part.

Whenever I dun feel well after eating anything .. Imodium + veragel ! I aint taking any chance. By the time I recall Imodium causes constipation it was too late. I wasn’t bowelling as much as I shld. System is all screw up and I feel bone ache n fever. Sunflu x2 + lots of water + sleep = recovery. 2 seminars coming up and the main one aint over. I cant fall sick now! On the actual main seminar day, I took 6 in a window of 10 hrs. bao bei thot I had dengue, warao! Implemented on the spot questionnaires and had a pleasant surprise. Got a girl asked if I have gf. And then the best question I was hoping someone asked – why is FTC better than SAA? Hahahhah .. my answer tho true to some sense had political implications. I asked the guy to go back and get his/her facts straighten out before asking questions like this. Had my rest and kept my promise to the date online. Tho its less than 24 hours, bao bei tells me she is missing me more as im home bound. I question why – scare to see me leave again. I hate that feeling too. . its like I ve to go but I dun wanna go. I must go but I cant go. But I miss her throughout without weighting less or more. Whatever I do, I think wats she doing now. Whatever I eat, I think is she eating well (besides thinking if the food is safe for consumption). Whenever I feel cold, I wonder if she is keeping herself warm. Whenever I drink purified water, I ponder if she is hydrating herself. Whenever I ‘facial’ care myself, I thank the Lord its not pee :p

Other funny things during my trip included: 830am, you have any laundry, sir? Knn, NO I brought disposal underwear. Woken up at 6am by hotel technician checking if my TV is working!!! 6am? I dun wish to be an ugly Singaporean traveler, but I had to call reception and ask why are they checking TV sets at 6am. My second question was – who watches TV at 6am in Myanmar! Ok, maybe this aint funny – but Thant fell into a hole. Walking closely next to the hole, my eyes was fix on my canon cam and next thing I know he grabbed me and I turn ard to see him on the ground. After dinner we took pictures, spoke to manager and even wanted to get authority to investigate the hole, and we stil didn’t get any discounts. This is the hole and his leg – ouch.

Donated all the shirts i brought and specify that they are to reach the Delta victims, not the beggars behind Traders Hotel. Then i buy a pair of $12 shoe and wear home. Couple Tee checked! Couple watch checked! Ring checked! im good to go.

Oohkay . . im back in her arms, her hugz, im enjoying love, im soak in bliss, drench in affection, submerge in adoration. Blissful in harmony I can devote my attention to Bao Bei, my Bao Bei.

Pictures for your viewing pleasures: