Through The Rabbit Hole

2010-10-14T23:59:00.001+08:00

The planning started many months before but the actual details of the day was down to the eleventh hour. With help from brothers n sisters, we managed to get the venue ready. Thank you to those who helped, we appreciate ur help very much. Prior to that we were having site visits, on-ground assessment of the land formation (as if we are landing a few Chinooks), getting suppliers organised, doing measurements on drawing book, purchasing items needed, using arms n leg as measuring tape. Good planning proves to be key for a successful event. In the morning I brought along a bag of stationary including paper hooks, tapes of different kind, scissors, nylon string, penknife, notebook, 4 pens 2 pencil, ruler, post it notes, rubberbands – end up we only used the penknife to cut open a few packets of fishing weights. U must be wondering why are there fishing weights are a ROM ceremony, well we are at Villa Raintree Spa where the function room ( a glass house) sits ON TOP of a swimming pool, yes on top! Freakin awesome aye? I thought so too. The hard part came, Simon n Kenny who got there early had to sort out the ‘pre-prepared’ fishing lines with weights that somehow decided to tangle themselves in the bag we stored them in. once that’s sorted out we realised we are somehow abit off with our measurements coz our arms n legs aren’t as long as we thot it to be. So, re-cut line, re-hook weights and we were still in time for the balloons to come. By this time the sisters has also arrived and disappeared at the same time, they emerged nicely dress with make up about 15mins later, I swear it was longer. Jasmine was the first to ask “ wat can I do?” Seeing her enthusiasm, I decided to entrust her with a light share of the work. Task for sisters: take 01 balloon with the silver streamer and tie it to 01 fishing line, starting wit the pink colour ones 1st. Jasmine got into the task like a fish into water, Karen pick it up after a few pink ones mixed with orange ones and after that its all pink ones already. Joey, as I remembered failed at task 1.1 which is ‘Take 01 balloon’ ! After my demo which I must say is simplified n easy to follow, she said ok, very easy. Then I proceed to pass her 01 balloon, which managed to slip of out of her hand n she let out a scream; lasted less than 1.5 seconds. Amidst the laughter, I had a sudden fear of ‘not enough balloons’ she reassured me: okok, 1 oni, ok? The balloon saga went about witout much slip up after that and we had lots of fun rushing in the hot sun. Along wit the sun also came the wind, good for us but not good for my balloons! These coloured heart shape beauties were initially floating nicely n proudly up high along the wooden walkway and inside the pool. A mass strike occurred as they decided not to fly high, wit swift n precision Simon cut a equally long line to hold the structure together much to my delight. Now, those balloons in the pool decided to slap on some tanning lotion n took a dip in the pool. As much as im prepared (I wore swimming trunks inside) I wasn’t too sure abt displaying my flabs in broad daylight publicly. But time is nearly up, I had to do wat I had to do. I got in the pool half naked moving the balloons around n even to the extend of drying them so the helium inside can take them flying again. Kenny whips his cam out n fired a few shots off which he intends to sell it on the black market in future. When all is finally done, we took a final check and said ‘bo time liao, later sort along the way’. I shoot off to get myself ready in the tranquil spa toilet but the slow flowing water n the yoga music did not calm my nerves. Im nervous, im sure my bb is nervous too. Before Simon left to pick Mdm Wee I had to remind him that she is an English educated lady who would mind his hokkieness or being called a ‘sodomiser’! All these while the communication wit the bride’s car did not lapse. Whatever happening on her side, im well aware n information is within my finger tips. Chop chop kali pok, I ready I go out wait. By this time, parents in law arrived n my little sister in law pretty as always was helping to entertain the sisters. Parents arrived not long after together wit Ah Ma. I went forward to lead Ah Ma in. I had a practise of the wooden walkway and was timing the steps but I can stil hear Ah Ma saying “I happy for u today, u getting married, where is Ah Hwee?” Her words brings warmth to my heart. The moment has arrived!! It is the arrival of the ‘Dry Ice’ organise by me, picked up by Brandon. We will know if this works! The arrival of the dry ice also triggered the arrival of the Bride. I shld be happy that she is here, but all I could ask over the phone was “why come now? I no ask u come, u come for wat?” My apologies to Chen Tai (my informant). The dry ice is not in place, thus not perfect, thus my Bride cannot come yet. Drinking water, pool water, any water I can grab I poured into the dry ice container. I think I shouted ‘fuck’ softly as it din ve that misty smoky effect that covered the wooden walkway as I intended it to be. Luckily we got some petals that was scattered in the morning, by who I cannot recall but thank u :p Wit little mist n smoky effect, I signalled the start of the event! Camera shutters, videocam rolling, ACTION.

Out came my beautiful Bride from the car lookin graciously glamorous with sun in her eyes she managed to reflect her brightness and shine onto everyone there. Bubbles flying, Sisters leading My Bride inched closer n closer to me, standing jus outside the glass house. Walkway being a L-Shape, my Father in Law was standing there and the sisters blended into the background, the centre of attraction for that moment walked to her dad and swung her arms ard his. Together they walked towards the glass house, my heart was pounding. The pounding excitement din stop even after they ve stopped. As Father in Law pass her hand to me, I accepted wit heart n soul and that translated to “Pa, I will take good care of her in future”

The ceremony started when Mdm Wee gestured everyone to have a seat. She started by congratulating us and explained her role for being there. I particularly like her version of “im here to see to that this man and this woman comes together as one”. She also gave us the rules n regulations of the Singapore Lawful Marriage Act 01 to 99. No, her speech wasn’t that long. Our speech was in fact longer one after the other. Our wedding vows are to be kept in our hearts and as well as those that we wanted them to be there to share our joy, our commitment, our bliss. The only hiccup is that we didn’t get a picture of the bride signing the papers as she does it in 0.001 Nano seconds wit her signature and the Groom’s Father smile til cant see eyes picture. But hey, 3 cameras I cant complain, 3 cam – 2 pro, none of them caught it, I cant complain. 3 cam 3 brother did for free, I cant complain. I cannot complain, u know!

Once the speeches were done and tears dried, Mdm Wee had to leave, so we step out into the hot sun, send her off and called for food to be served. Before that, we had a few pictures wit Mdm Wee and promised we will send her the pictures and a copy of our vows coz she loved it so much she asked if she can have a copy. We din consider the greenhouse effect until we felt the heat as we savour our dishes. And knowing my Father, he had to top it off wit a geography lesson in the middle of the meal. He had a two-tone shirt I thot, but he was actually perspiring. Once the heaty and hearty lunch was over, we proceeded for more pictures around the spa, inside the spa. Brandon brought his ‘bbq pit’ n had his fun too. Boon Chian delighted the sisters by taking off his shirt. Pictures will be my showcase of the effort the photographers put in and the happiness of the newly wed and of coz the pride oozing fr our parents. I nearly left the place without paying haha.

We proceeded to our favourite joint after the photo taking for more photo taking. Ulu place but cozy n nice ambience for a getaway plus it brings back memory of the celebrations we had/have there. Thank Us for the upgrade, we love the bigger space. Living room, toilet, bedroom, sofa … where shall we ‘start’ ?? :P lol The nite was blur after the drinks, I did my 1st duty as a husband helping wife at the toilet bowl expelling the alcohol and then . . . oops X-rated, cannot tell u. Byez, thank for taking time to read and shared our happiness. We present “Mr. & Mrs. Tan”

2010-04-15T02:58:00.000+08:00

A time comes in your life when you finally have had it, in the midst of all your uncertainties and insanity, you come to a dead end and voices inside cries "Enough is ENOUGH!" i have not return to this blog for almost a year. Alot has happened since... read on to find out who what when where how. I do nt know why it took me a year to come up with something. Perhaps a part of heart died when i knew nothing i do/did was good enough. A recent visit during CNY to our usual feng shui master denotes a new start to my lunar year. Master hardly bullshits.. to the point and he started with “this is your year, your ‘xiao ren’ has left” and this is why i write. Sky is blue, clear and bright. Enough complaining and hostility to people you no longer have feelings to; you know who u r! What’s left is me struggling to hold on. And, like a 3 yr old kid quieting down after parading a tantrum, my sobs subside, i shudder a few times, i wipe my tears and begin to look at the world again. This is MY awakening. i realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for exhilaration, wellbeing, and sanctuary to come galloping over the far horizon like a new day... I ve come to terms with the fact that im are neither Andy Lau nor Beckham. And in OUR real world now, its not all sweet n honey; there aint fairy tale endings not to mention beginnings. Fact – we are not perfect and not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what we are...but that's OK. You are entitled to your own views and opinions. I learned the importance of loving and figuring oneself.. you open up to new worlds and different points of view, you reassess and redefine who you are and what you stand for. i stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to me. People dont always say what they mean or mean what they say, not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. Learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself please... im, you should too.

Past year i learned ...

Stop judging and dun pointing fingers and we begin to accept people as they are and overlook their shortcomings and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. All but one. I dunno why she n i cant get along. You learn to look at relationships as it is at value and not as you would have them be. You learn that you don't know everything or most things, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a cow to play the piano. Honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which i build my life. i have been, wat about u? You learn to distinguish wats guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting perimeters and learning to say NO to people you dun like. You stop trying - at controlling people, situations, and even outcomes. And then alone does not mean lonely. You learn that feelings of entitlement, and it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want -- and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands becos pple are deaf. You learn that your body really is your temple; you begin to care respect it; eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with sensitivity, love, kindness + respect - you dun settle for less. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. Note: learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, bit of luck and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone – but then if you want the job done; who better to do it but yourself? You learn that negative feelings such as resentment or anger must be understood and redirected before they drain and poison you. You learn to admit when you are wrong; make love not war. You learn to be grateful and take comfort in simplicity; dun take things for granted.

Summary: Take responsibility for yourself, keep smiling, keep an open mind, dun settle for less. With God by your side and courage in your heart, take stand, deep breath, and devise as best you can the life you want to live.

"Dear God, I have never thanked you for my victories. I prayed a thousand times for my miseries, but never once for my victories. Teach me the glory of the cross we bear; teach me the
value of my victories. Show me I have come closer to you along the path of my miseries. Show me, guide me, direct me through my tears, the colors of your rainbow is more vibrant."

Thank you also these wonderful time and memories. Allow me to share 2009 . . .

April - Trip to Perhentian, virgin trip to Perhentian. Nice resort, nice owners, but crappy guide. Wonderful service, food and post dive events. Memorable incident: fucker shoot SMB at 22m with 15m reel. Kept asking 'wtf' at 22m initially, 20, 18, 16, 14, 10, 7 and at least 10times at 5m SS.

May Labor Holiday to Maleka, pronounce 'mer-la-ker'. Mac breakfast in Jurong, A&W lunch, followed by sampling of an assortment of awesome local delights. However, no try satay, no chicken rice, no ice kachang! Yeah, we go again next time :P

May - Trip Layang Layang, virgin trip also. Great dive buddies, awesome food and post dives activities. Visited KK town. Memorable incident: Mr Wong stopped by airport police; we pay same price leh; RM$0.50 for an egg; Decomp princess; 'bro, why u brush teeth naked huh?'; and finally half of one of the six!!! NB

June was a hectic month, we were busy collecting namecards of property agents. Nearly bought a 84 sqm tin can in little india; we survey the place at different timings; even took a walk on a saturday night and talked to the cisco guards too - blinded by what we didnt know, we tried to convince ourselves we should get it .. but 1st shop 1st purchase, sorry not my style. We went from little india to somewhere nearer in farrer park to near my place - hougang, buangkok, serangoon, macpherson to near her place - Jln membina, bukit merah, telok blangah cres (which we loved also), kim tian, stratmore, queenstown, tiong bahru... and finally decided to put our foot down for a 100 sqm 4 room nest that we call ours. Among lush greenery with amenities nearby (Market, MRT, School) we settled for Redhill. Some might say we are cabbage! but we have no regrets. Size - bigger than your BTO tin cans, geared for family expansion in the future. Price - its still going up for my block. The only thing im worried is if this is the price im paying now, how much would a flat cost when my kids wish to purchase one??? Meantime --- prepare for house warming in jun/may depending on reno works (dun get me started). We need the following items --> Coffee maker, iron + iron board, blender, steamer, food processor, blu-ray player, LED 32" TV + borsch speakers systems, vacum cleaner and maid. Feel free to chip in or add on to the list haha. Kidding, jus come and enjoy food, our company and our visual pleasures!

Having spend a large sum of money that the govt played a part in, i felt the urge that i have to give back. So i wore red & white on 9th August 2009. Did you? did you really?

Aug - Pulau Sibu, Birds is better than fishes . . .

September - Trip to Bangkok finally. Many places i never been before . . bar at this sky centre place, chatuchuk (to check spelling), patunam centre etc. Bought many things, i bought shirts & T-shirts, she buy bra. Thailand cheaper kup! Went many places and eventually found my hugo boss :P

Suddenly i feel like stopping here... good night. October 09 is a new chapter in my life. Will dedicate a page for it :)

2009-04-25T02:37:00.014+08:00

Hunter or Farmer?

U one who is creative? you one of them? Im !! If u r, u know perfectly well how ur views are received by ur boss, and surely u’re tired of it. I would like to be taken seriously ...for once.

U presents a rational argument against a theory; in my line of work... wats rational? Our views will be dismissed as meaningless rant; the best method is to point out the verifiable fact that clearly contradicts the theory, yes contradict! But wait … to do that... u must understand the fucking theory, so that u r well aware of what might contradict it. Or at least when someone ask “ wtf u talkin abt”, u can explain. To put it bluntly, u need to know wtf u dig!

Evidence u present can be something u chance upon or discovered, which turns out u wrongly understood or think u can use… so sad for u, really im. Even bogus to a certain extend! If u really got something, u be careful, because u will use it to ur full advantage and this is where crooks and cranks and Einstein wannabes fuckers so often go astray.

By merely pointing out the redundant doesn’t bring a well-established theory crashing down in ruins specially if the theory never depended on such evidence in the first place. At most, I give u credit for ur data management.

One other method is to illustrate all of the available evidence better than the existing viewpoint. Its a difficult task, but not impossible. Contrary to the frequent complaints, naggin and counselling, u urself in fact is closed-minded to new theories. In the last century in this lifetime ur lifetime my lifetime, general relativity, quantum physics, how God create the world in 7 days, and even magma movement prevailed over initial skepticism. But to devise a new theory, u need to know what is and what isn’t. Implementation of an untested theory is a waste of everyone’s time. The more evidences is produced, the more difficult it becomes to concoct a credible alternative, right? So what choices are there? And the objectives are clear… very clear to me.

I do not argue:
1. U ignore, dislike of, nor refusal to accept my side of story will serve as objections. All such arguments are really about you, not the viewpoint.
2. No lao jiao can claims they knows everything, or can solved all problems; and no procedures has been subjected to all possible tests. Therefore, pointing out that that there are things not yet known, tests not yet made, or problems not yet solved, isn’t much of an argument. Unsolved problems are part and parcel of daily life, and no unresolved question, by its mere existence, is a magic blow that will bring a ‘firewall’ crashing down.
3. Its obvious that verifiable facts dun mean anything to u; its just ur credibility. U r intellectually vacuous and u appear ridiculous.
4. Other arguments are attempts to discredit character? unrelated topics? irrelevant to viewpoint? Mr E=MC2 Isaac Newton was said to be an unpleasant man, and Beethoven was deaf; but their value is not affected by such irrelevancies.

Enough said. If u r reading, read on. If u r not, i invite u to fuck off please (see, i can be nice too, dickface)

I pen off in January talking about id104 drivers, ah nei’s slippers & putting words into action. Jus before CNY, we knew we had to get away for awhile as we will be bombarded by ‘wu peng you bor?’, ‘tiang si gao eng?’ – questions we dread, not becos we dun wanna face it. But rather we cant say ‘aiya, have la, wait for invitation’. There were several options and we took one we both happily agreed on. Bintan here we come. .

Then Valentine’s Day

Then Myanmar trip...

Then 4th March 2009...
Speech goes: i choose this date is because the significance of 三月四号 , one life whole lifetime. It is time to put our hands together and also our love together. Will you marry me?

Finally we did the Singapore flyer...

2009-01-13T16:49:00.036+08:00

What a year, what a year, what a year!!!

i never thot my 1st entry for 2009 will be from camp. Jus before the main body move out, we had a bit of time..thus im here. Why am i in camp? why do i stil need to serve ICT.. someone asked me. well...long long time ago, someone clerk in mindef forgot all about us ..those who RODed and suppose to serve our reservist. and almost 8yrs later they suddenly found our database and called us up. Funny thing is, i defered 3yrs to go study, why take another 5yrs to find me? this is something they cannot answer nor i wanna find out.

Anyway, as 08 comes to an end, i wish everyone have a blessed year ahead, even for those who crossed my path!!! We civilised pple do not dwell on the past neither do we bear grudges. I pray for safe landing for all. God do not promise a smooth passage but HE certainly brings you to a safe landing. Bear in mind and sleep peacefully at night (if u can :P )

How my 08 ended? hmmm... bit of everything actually! let me recall where i left off. After my last post, there was myanmar.. nothing much, same old same old. each time i go, it always makes the pple go goo goo gaga. I learned that smaller establishment are finding it hard to compete with the big guns. If i run seminars with them, the enquiries will always ask if your kieren tan is the same kieren tan holding the seminar at traders hotel? How many kieren tan can there be in Yangon? They choose to go to the one at hotel... i can only tell agents: the big guns started with in-house also. I thot it would be my last trip for the year and also possibly my last trip EVER. FCB, im planning for Feb trip now...wtf? Hopefully for the love of God, this shall be the last ever!

Coming back from myanmar, i was outta Singapore the very next weekend to Ipoh. Uni fren's wedding... baby had to follow cos name in invitation card :) i know you dun like 8hrs bus rides. We shall fly more often.

Which we intended for her birthday, but who would know thai protestors "took over" the airport! How can government allow such a thing to happen? I question their security & system. What if its in times of war? They lose a stronghold to deploy their planes and loses their airspace. Enemy can use it as a supply port for supplies and reinforcement. I bet my last dollar this will never happen to Changi airport. Simply becos - 1. there are armed SAF/Police/STAR/SOF protecting our international airport. 2. singaporeans do not have guts to stage something of this scale. 3. govt will give protestors NTUC vouchers as incentives to stop protesting. That auntie who said her lugguage had a bomb is downright "gong". What??? never take plane before huh? maybe its her first time on a plane... but she dont watch news or read papers? where has she been for the past 10yrs?

So... with the protesting going on n on with no dates of surrender, we cancelled our long awaited trip. i was really really looking forward to that trip. We got back 100% of everything! Mum was shouting n screaming terrorist, danger, bangkok, dont go dont go. To give her a peace of mind, we cancelled and even asked sis not to bring the kids there! but guess what she did??? In the midst of the 'last' protestor stepping out, Mum & Dad flew in! Chey...was my reaction! i shld have gone ahead and go do a 'year end' shopping too!

But Baby's birthday we had to go somewhere right? So ... it was a total 're-make' of birthday 2007. Same place, same setting, same fondue. But we didnt make out at the pool this time ;p

One year add one stalk

I had to clear 9.5 days of leave... so during peak period also can take. And everybody started taking all sorts of leave to my surprise. I thot from heaven came a hand to set us free.. which in actuat fact is not la. Too busy no time, win lor. When under pressure or busy anything goes. Then when pple busy come ask stupid question. You asked stupid question expects stupid answer la, tio bo? Last time do like that wrong, are we going to continue to do wrong way??? Thats the best you can? C'mon, do your worst ...

CNY's mahjong session came early. We played mahjong on X'mas day :) which is fun... cos end of the 5hrs of thinking, thoughts, think i lost 50c. Wats more important is the 'inclusion' of bf for a girls outing! Im glad i ve gotten the stamp of approval n acceptance fr Baby's frens... then maybe they jus wanted another leg for mahjong!! ;p oh, did i tell you what we did in town? We went around dressed in white, wearing mini X'mas hats and walked orchard road. I strongly believe - that hat will be kept and will re-appear in 2009 X'mas. Well, Baby had her fun, so did i :)

New year ... as per SOP, we had to have fireworks. Baby says its beautiful and signifies a new start. So ... there we were on 31st Dec at 30mins before midnight walking towards fullerton. As we head for our destination (Bridge = Best view), we found ourselves stuck in a crowd that made up of singaporeans + foreigners. Yes.. by that i meant: tiong, angmos + ah nei! As much as i wanna get into the spirit of a new beginning ..i dont fancy being molested by sweaty n smelling ah nei. I kid you not, if he had butter, my ass would have been 'intruded' we were THAT close! Nevertheless, we had fun n manage to shoot some shots of fireworks. Oh...the uncle / ah nei who lost your slipper, its near the traffic light junction in front of fullerton hotel. haha

Highlights of 2008 ... well...quite a few. . . but i can only recall those nearer to the 4th quarter, as they say ... whats past is past. But no, someone has to bring up old times!!! Fuck you la, unless i call you brother or i drinking beer with you, dont think that you are in a position to criticise. Pple make mistakes, i make mistakes, i admit i change for better. End of the day, i say to myself: this is just part n parcel of life, no pride no glory if you put someone down, if i were to walk out that door someday, my head will be held high. My question to you is "Can you do the same? " Think about it... there are things called karma. Im done cursing, you will get yours one fine day... (dun think you are untouchable). 不是时辰不到, 只是时辰未到. There was a funny thing - "alarm alarm" for an ongoing thing. I nearly laughed. This was during the 混乱世纪 where everyone had somethin to do. If i can do it, my brother David Teo wont be charging so much liao loh!!! I think that project on the outside market is worth at least $10k. During 混乱世纪, who did well? Few did well, few frozed. Names were mentioned, pls remember can liao, no rewards needed. In 3 months, 3 hand & leg left consecutively. If you had played your cards right, maybe it wont happen at all. You fucked youself! you deprived yourself of that 70% consideration factor. bleah! Since the departures, its been sub-zero temperature in there. Pple get hostile, annoyed easily among other 'post promotion' symtoms ..

Thoughts:

i have to talk about this ... that suicidal foreign worker who walked in the tiger's den is admirable for his courage to go like this! 不带走一片云彩 i can hear him shout!! hey hey, lets not get racist here, i know his nationality too, he may not be able to say, but he certainly did it with vigor n style! If i were to go, i choose a less hassle way. So please remember, after i leave, please have me cremated and sprinkle my ashes in the sea. No need to hire a diver, my son/daughter will be a diver. They can have the honour of doing it.

Another thing i wish to bring up (tho i had the last time, those idiots are still doing it)... drivers, if you cant drive following the rules, please surrender your licence and ask for a fine at LTA. Although the street lamps are lit, please turn on your freakin headlights if you are driving at night. If you dunno how to drive, you can learn becos not many pple can tolerate stupidity. Wanna get yourself killed, its fine by me. But dun drag other pple into it.

08 went by in a flash... ask me if i were to relive 08 again wat would i change: NOTHING! We have been together for more than a year now. If given the chace to do it all over again, i would have done the same thing, went the same place, bought the same gifts. But maybe shower baby with more love. I strongly feel i have not given enough, she keeps saying i dunno how to love back. Baby, im not asking for anything in return. Love may not be a word that hangs around my lips all the time, but thru my actions, i think you can see how much i love you and wat i put into this relationship. We have big plans, i may ve delay talking about it, thats becos i wanna have something concrete before coming to you. Dreams are dreams and only if we work hand in hand we can make our dreams into reality. My love for you is always a journey, never a destination. I look forward to venturing into new chapter of our lives, something to call 'ours'. It time to put plans into action. If not now, when? If not you, who? With the blessings we are getting, im confident we can write our fairytale's ending: They live happily everafter!

2008-11-03T02:03:00.005+08:00

We know when we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it . . .

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about ur age. I tried but the wrinkles on my face I couldn’t lie.

Ok im celebrating my birthday again... a normal one, the “decade changing” one happened 3 years ago and yupz wat they say is true ..once u go pass 30… the candles jus keep stacking up; this on creeped up on me ever so quietly. Wherever has the time gone?

Im particulary excited abt this one actually ..as this is the one im celebrating last as a single man! Dang!! Where my bros wit the beers and dancing stripper? Oops.. :)
And then ….. I ve to say: HEY … by no means am I "old" but I definitely felt a sense of being "older". And with age, I am changing - as a person. My values and priorities are much sharper with clear clarity and precision focus. And they are shifting from the kinda things a young adult male wants to things that seem more profound and real to me now.

Being older and maybe wiser .. :p I would like to share with u . . .
Life is not about work and work only.
No matter where u at, dun care if u are at work, at home or in church. End of the day, pple u work with is pple u work with.. simple as that. Unless these pple bothers to seek u after work or over a personal issue. Today I see a man with vision open his shop. I recall watching all the people who came to celebrate his opening. The day I resolved to be like him and do what it takes to make a difference in people. Thru the roads and turns I ve taken – in many years to come I wan people to come and celebrate my life - which is far bigger than celebrating a single birthday.

Watever efforts… its all about outcome.
To those who gives a damn, I celebrate ur efforts. With them who did somethin, I appreciate ur efforts. U talk to pple up there, they say "I'm going to try to do that. Then pls "Do! Dun jus talk." Words have so much power, and how I speak have some bearing on how I act. So I discipline myself to not even use the language of attempt. When I tell myself or others, I use the word "do" as much as I can. I want to achieve real meaningful results. Don't settle for less than ur best by substituting effort for results

On this birthday, I hope u can pick up the ‘fire’ in u and run with it and make a difference to those around u as well.

My celebration started wit two, not one delivery to the office. I wasn’t expecting any delivery as Baobei says she is too busy and dunno wat to do. As usual, I was expecting a simple dinner like any other years. There was one, then there was two! A cake was delivered (I was told several pple were involved in keeping it a secret) and the delivery man got lost too. Then came the flowers . . as much as being ‘malu’ getting flowers, its always good to get some. Can understand fr A to Z in relation to a woman saying “dun waste money on flowers” to receiving the bouquet of flowers. All these done right under my nose… amazing ! and I ve to give her full points for effort and idea. Come to think of it . . we ate n ate for 4 days. Its almost like a traditional festival where celebration goes on for days. Squid ink spaghetti wasn’t impressive, but then again its rather who I ate wit n not wat I ate. Ikoi was GOOD!! Wat struck me was when she said ‘ for a marine lover, u eat a lot of fish’ and I added ‘oh.. u shld ve been there when we had live lobster sashimi’ (im thinking I need seawater soon, if not I see fishes ON plates more than in their natural environment). All in all; I ate-ed: chocolate cake, pasta, jap salad, sashimi- salmon+yellow tail+sword+sotong, tempura, chocolate pie n chocolate coffee, Malay cuisine + Malay kueh, Burmese Mo hing Nga n noodle salad, sansui chicken cabbage wrap, ah ma tapioca leaves, olive rice (well, I gave mine to en en), toastbox thick toast, n a home-cooked dinner and a blackforest cake. To compensate the lost of 4kgs..i ate 5kgs worth of food over 4days. I cant complain!

To my baobei, thank u for the arrangements n companionship. Henna henna there were some tears I tried to hide.

To all those msg on facebook, SMSes, calls and emails, thank u thank u. thank u for remembering :)

2008-09-10T02:05:00.004+08:00

Haven wrote for a long time.

Wont be much pictures this time also.. maybe some from the trip I did in july/aug. But I do have a few question in mind. Dun ya jus think abt anything or everythin when u r all alone sittin under the stars..moon …yadda yadda. We got brains, we use it. Nicky once said: you are given a brain, use it. Dun use it to cushion your ass” or something to that effect! Over time, I really wonder why the hell we jump fr a hole into another hole? Come to think of it, it’s the same hole? There is shit in it. And at any one point in your life, u can only be in ONE hole! Face it – we cant handle more than 2 holes at any one time. Wake up, smell the shit! We cant! If by choice of cos I wouldn’t wanna be an armchair individual, I wanna be out there, fightin a war if there is one.

Qns: why is 9th September 2009 such an important date?
Ans: this is the date we declare the love we have for each other.

Qns: why do we like sharing at times?
Ans: so that the other party can understand wat we think/thinkin

Qns: why do people talk as if the world cant hear them?
Ans: likely they are from the biggest country on earth and they stand pretty far apart

Qns: why do people drive without lights on?
Ans: they are train in night driving and they read “Dummy driving”

Qns: why do I feel nonchalant about my last Myanmar trip?
Ans: I am sick of all these shit cos im never gonna live up to her expectations.

Qns: why can pple open eyes and talk prawn language?
Ans: im not featured in their plans

Qns: why am I considering a competitor?
Ans: so that she can take it like a man

Qns: why am I considering before I consider other?
Ans: I feel there is hope, *ptui my fucking ass!

Qns: why is the zoo such a bad place?
Ans: the animals got wilder and outta control

Qns: why we have so many bananas n pple trippin?
Ans: bad monkey

Qns: why is it sour and aint fresh no more?
Ans: bad cow

Qns: why we have money to make and we aint making it?
Ans: bad donkey

Qns: why aren’t u saying hello anymore?
Ans: bad pig

Qns: why why why?
Ans: because so …

July trip to tioman – omg everythin else was good. The only thing is the vis! F up is an understatement…

2008-06-12T15:41:00.015+08:00

I am starting to write even before I reach yangon.. as the captain of silkair flight MI512 announced that we are cruising at altitude of 10,000 feet with a ground speed of almost 700km/hr up here – I started to think abt bao bei. Sg time now shld be 9am… she is getting ready to wake up, maybe nt outta bed yet, maybe tired from the tearing jus now, maybe lookin forward to a Friday, maybe lookin forward to two Mondays from now, maybe lookin forward to reading the straits times tmr. . im thinking of her. As I write on, I subconsciously wanna write better as a certain teacher might be reading this. But hey, all my teachers read wat I wrote for yonks and none of my pieces seem to impress, so I sure aint gonna impress now nor improve. i used to write how I write and how I wanna write and too bad – this my blog bleah ;p And yes u guessed it, im going to Myanmar now. Many pple think I ve a woman in Myanmar .. which in fact I really dun ve as I ve ‘several’ there hah! These women are those I ve been workin so closely with for the past one year ‘servicing’ them .. close enough to address each other sis n bro. And when Nargis hit Myanmar, I worried for them and their family, I felt compelled to do something. And when they risk their safety to get news out to me, I was overwhelmed to tears. As rescue work went on at affected areas, tickets needs to be booked, seminars required confirmation, media news calls for updates, humanitarian assistance gathers, uncertainties ve to addressed, worries has to be reassured, hearts comforted.. Burma lives on! The hardest thing I had to do was to convince bao bei I’ll be back in ONE piece safe n sound, back to love her more, back to renew our love, back in her arms, her care, her concern, her love. . . Love is my driving force and my only reason for a safe return. Holy smokes, I thot I heard the plane engine stopped. This aint the time, my time is not up yet. The plane continues.. so will my writing. However - Brain juice not flowing.. I can only think of bao bei. Shall stop now and continue when we land, when ugly flight attendants r not walkin ard, when mr bean stops coming on screen, when laptop dun suddenly die on me… I had 2.2 hours 10mins ago, now I ve 8mins…wtf? Had some time before the ugly pple in uniform bugs me again..so ..here’s me wrapped in blanket playing ipod and canon. . .

Seeing this paragraph means the plane landed safely and im in Myanmar. I started to think why I write only when im on trips.. maybe its cos times away from her, I pass my time thinking n missing her. Airport custom was smooth as I was afraid I’ll be detained cos of the suitcase of medication I brought in. Streets looked alright to me, perhaps I couldn’t tell the difference, but I was told trees have been cleared off the roads. The aftermath of Nargis has left some roads inaccessible. As we steer into the city, familiar sights greeted this traveler tho some billboards has been ‘relocated’. Reached hotel even before they asked for my passport to check in; my response to them saying “welcome back Mr Tan” was – I would like an instructional manual and charges for IDD calling Singapore, and I wan it yesterday!!! The connection miles away brought our hearts closer when I heard the voice on the phone : “baby!” Bao bei didn’t think it could be someone else. Luckily its her baby on the other side of the globe. Had quick chat but it was more than enough to get me going for the trip. The first of its kind in Myanmar by an institute press conference was held. Close to 20 journalists from 11 different media house turned up and we had a great time talking about Singapore.

~~ Newpaper feature:

Dinner was great, we went back to this place we had dinner during my first trip in 2007. Familiarity with new faces, reality sets in – I cant be doing this all my life. There will come a time where im too old for this shit and I would say ‘enough is enough’ but jus when and how much is enough? Tomorrow Mandalay!

Nothing much, met student, principals + some old frens. All I was looking forward was getting back n hooking up that modem! Had a quick coffee and headed back. When it was time, I flew out of the hotel like a possessed man determined to find an internet café. How I wish they had a rope from the 16th floor. Connection was awesomely good, did some work and connected meebo. The tired day and jetlag went away almost instantly when baby’s window popped out. My heart popped out too, I was excited to know how her day got on and vice visa. The party is tomorrow and I certainly hope she will do alright. To date, she has only been involved in a handful of family events.. the disciple will now be tested and if she can get thru the burning cauldron and the shaolin 18 monks, she will be release to leave the mountain. I ve full confidence she will ace this event! No doubts no reservations. Now, back in the room … I fuckin realize wallet I kept in my back pocket is gone. Called recep n somehow got a number of a taxi driver, called n was put on hold, directed to two drivers and then to the place I took the taxi – none of this ‘non-English’ natives could understand English let alone lend a helping hand. Went back to internet café n park royal (where I took taxi); reported lost and got the duty manager out of bed along with security guards we had a ‘conversation’ – words involved: taxi, park royal, traders, bag. Apparently they do not understand wat the heck is a ‘wallet’. So from the time I reported lost till I got into bed. I had to say I lost a bag and inside this bag is where I put my money. I lost my bag! I lost my bag! Along with it my cash, my cards, my alertness, my spirit, my Nargis relief funds. Baby will be worried. Baby will be worried sick. Baby might not have the mood to go party or work. I’ll keep from her fr the time being until I seek official help. Tomorrow is Sunday, dun even know if the police is open for business, but one thing sure icpas aint operating. I only ve my Burmese brothers n sisters to turn to.

Today is an early day, seminar at 8am. Luckily its close by if not I ve to get up pretty early. Wanted to blurp out everythin but b4 I could do so, we ve reached, I guess thuthu grasped the meaning of ‘a stone throw away’ . . Met principal cum teacher and his wife, CPA get from MAC ..Myanmar Accounting Council I learned fr him. Medium level of responsiveness from these lot.. I need to learn more Burmese to engage them I felt. Had a small window to drop by thuthu’s office. Went in sent sos email and left. Didn’t think much of it as I thought they would take some time to consult ‘mgmt’ or even gather some form of assistance. Dang! I was wrong, in a short period of less than 5hrs, they replied asking how much is needed to be sent to me. By the time I saw that email, I knew I stuff up.. they would ve surrounded my baby and asked stupid questions. And I was dead on ‘nasa style’ accurate abt my thots. Who is mixing work n personal now?

The day 27 of May 2008 this day – it’s a meaningful day for me, for mankind, for humanitarian. We bought food items, medicine and 500kgs of rice to distribute to cyclone hit villagers. Along the way, this is a different side of yangon that I ve nt seen. As we arrive we could see a crowd gathered infront of the distribution station. We attracted curious villagers as we set up a barricade and the village headman has to step up and keep them in order. Swift organization allowed us to start very soon. You can clearly see how much these pple has suffered and all I wanna do was to get it over so they can bring the items home to their families. When we had extra to give out, I was told only children could line up for it. Things turn a wee bit rowdy and it was grab ‘any’ kid from the street kinda of rowdy. Strong able man had to step in and put some pple away. Distribution started when all was in order again. Once we finished there was cheers from the crowd and few pple came forth and said prayers with tears. Translation – God bless you with a good heart, its your good heart that save us. We visited the village after a chat with the headman. As we walked in, I was fighting tears seeing the devastated state of wats left that these villagers call home. Its started raining and villagers came running out wit umbrellas.. moved n touched beyond words. Thant said: immediate rewards. Had time b4 we head for airport, went in to check emails fr baby. Managed some words but more than enough for a short prayer before a domestic flight. Shocking news, the first time I see efficiency at work – they managed to get a cheque signed and deposited. Till now im at shocked and lost for words. Pictures of the ‘relief’ help:

Nothing much, pretty much like Mandalay. Oh sorry, maybe I had very high expectations from stories I heard. Got back and went for a work out, sry baby the soft tummy is going away for good! 1800 hrs Rangoon time I got the ‘relief’ funds. Paid my debts and settled some bills. Millionaire overnight .. really, I had 2.1 million.

Met an agent whom I didn’t get to meet on my last trip and DK met n briefed. Well basically he asked every single question there is to be asked and took notes as if im giving tips to his exam. When I asked ‘didn’t DK brief or train your staff’ I wasn’t expecting AT ALL - ‘yes, but we dun understand wat he is saying’ as answer. Am I speaking Burmese? English – Na Ma Le Bu !!! am i speak burmese? i no speaking burmese, i speaking english only. . Nabei !

Next few days went on without much fuss. Met agents, did training, consult students, went to schs. Beside the normal things that’s normally done, I lost the compassion I ve for the kids in the streets knowing that they r the ones always ard that area, sayin the same thing to foreigners, nt doing something with their lives – compared to those who really lost their homes n needed help. Perhaps I ve grown smarter. This trip my TV is on CNN everyday, monitoring the news – Nargis n szechuan and then Iceland – 6.2 quake. Kinda set my mind thinking, mother nature testing the pple? Seeing these news makes me long for home more. I miss bao bei, I miss hm. I miss her laughter, I miss talking to her, I miss holding her hands, I miss her cough (nt that I like to hear), I miss the way she looks at me, I miss her sayang, I miss her hugs, I miss her jovial spirit, I miss her sayin she miss me. There is more contact hours this trip, but I still felt its nt enough. If all is well, this could well be my last trip and then there would be no more separate ever. But I do know that the only union that will nt separate is the one where we hold each others’ hand and say “I do” – in sickness and in health, to love and to hold, til death do us part.

Whenever I dun feel well after eating anything .. Imodium + veragel ! I aint taking any chance. By the time I recall Imodium causes constipation it was too late. I wasn’t bowelling as much as I shld. System is all screw up and I feel bone ache n fever. Sunflu x2 + lots of water + sleep = recovery. 2 seminars coming up and the main one aint over. I cant fall sick now! On the actual main seminar day, I took 6 in a window of 10 hrs. bao bei thot I had dengue, warao! Implemented on the spot questionnaires and had a pleasant surprise. Got a girl asked if I have gf. And then the best question I was hoping someone asked – why is FTC better than SAA? Hahahhah .. my answer tho true to some sense had political implications. I asked the guy to go back and get his/her facts straighten out before asking questions like this. Had my rest and kept my promise to the date online. Tho its less than 24 hours, bao bei tells me she is missing me more as im home bound. I question why – scare to see me leave again. I hate that feeling too. . its like I ve to go but I dun wanna go. I must go but I cant go. But I miss her throughout without weighting less or more. Whatever I do, I think wats she doing now. Whatever I eat, I think is she eating well (besides thinking if the food is safe for consumption). Whenever I feel cold, I wonder if she is keeping herself warm. Whenever I drink purified water, I ponder if she is hydrating herself. Whenever I ‘facial’ care myself, I thank the Lord its not pee :p

Other funny things during my trip included: 830am, you have any laundry, sir? Knn, NO I brought disposal underwear. Woken up at 6am by hotel technician checking if my TV is working!!! 6am? I dun wish to be an ugly Singaporean traveler, but I had to call reception and ask why are they checking TV sets at 6am. My second question was – who watches TV at 6am in Myanmar! Ok, maybe this aint funny – but Thant fell into a hole. Walking closely next to the hole, my eyes was fix on my canon cam and next thing I know he grabbed me and I turn ard to see him on the ground. After dinner we took pictures, spoke to manager and even wanted to get authority to investigate the hole, and we stil didn’t get any discounts. This is the hole and his leg – ouch.

Donated all the shirts i brought and specify that they are to reach the Delta victims, not the beggars behind Traders Hotel. Then i buy a pair of $12 shoe and wear home. Couple Tee checked! Couple watch checked! Ring checked! im good to go.

Oohkay . . im back in her arms, her hugz, im enjoying love, im soak in bliss, drench in affection, submerge in adoration. Blissful in harmony I can devote my attention to Bao Bei, my Bao Bei.

Pictures for your viewing pleasures:

2008-04-04T02:54:00.017+08:00

Yes yes its been awhile since I wrote.. wat can I say.. pain pain pain! Yes the pain of having to be apart. Besides the times in dreamland, I think we spent almost every min every second together. We can never be apart.. at all. But wat she says is true, we extend our love each day. Even when im away, and also when we are away from each other, or away wit each other. To date, we have been apart for 15 days, 14nites taking away some time spent b4 departure etc la. And heaven/government aint helping.. yes, u guessed it – im in Myanmar again. Same country but different feelings each time. This time its 10 days! How the fuck mi gonna survive 10 days???

As days goes by .. im writing abit by abit. First few days was unbearable, I wish I could jump thru the com and plant a big hugz n kissz on her, but knowing the 486s here in Myanmar, im afraid I’ll caught in time n unable to return. This I cannot do; for I ve promised her to return myself to her in one piece. I could well be the only person in this city tearing in a internet café infront of a 486. why I keep saying 486? Cos its really a fucking 486 speed of connection. Its takes the pc 10mins to say I cannot connect/ the site is banned (pls note, I aint got time to surf porn overseas, porn is normally done in the privacy of my room). I will then, after 10 frustrating mins, call out to the nice lady pointing the com, she will take 30 secs to get up from her chair and another 30 to walk 2m to me. Wat she does to the com is amazing, which I ve learnt also.. sometimes it works, sometimes it dosent. Then after another 10mins, the com will come out the same msg, it depends on luck whether the com is in a good mood that day. I paid 20c for that! 21mins of pure agony and wastage… on a good day, the thing worked and I get to ‘connect’ with baby! Either one of us wil start by saying ‘baby’ and in that 4 letter word of baby it represents; pain of waiting, agony of technical failure, hours of anticipation prior to the log on, missing each other, longing for a mere 30mins of ‘connection’ also can attitude, the extension of our love, the Everything.

The seminar didn’t go well as anticipated, turn out wasn’t as expected. Infact it was very low given that these pple has constantly met and exceeded my standards. One of the directors called from Singapore jus to apologies for not hitting the numbers. The other group numbers was better and sign up was better also, and has mount a serious challenge on my big guns. I particularly like it when a competitor approached them- reply was: “sorry, we r doing wit kieren only. U dun ve a share in this”. . omg song bo??? I jus wished that someone was there – jus so words can be eaten back “ these pple xxxxxxt in by xxxxx xxxg.” Other time were either meeting agent or agent meeting. The little time I ve at nite is for internet café only and only internet café, I seriously aint got time for niteclubs (on 1st nite... Christ!), la sap KTVs, nipple showing frenster Myanmar gals, improper massage parlour, disco nor comestics salesgirls… so - pls do so without me. I also not interested in life stories nor previous overseas sexcapades, it's jus sad. I came I saw I delivered, I ve done my part…

I was stuck here a quite awhile not knowing where to continue from my previous paragraph. I ‘ll be told to cool down .. I know. Okie baby, cool cool. Im suppose to be talking abt how I survive in Myanmar. For now i jus wan my beef and fuck off.. fuck the fucking hell far far off, I dun wanna see ur fucking face, hear ur fucking voice neither do I wanna know whothefuck u been fucking under the table… the word fuck is distinguished with much pride! Dramatic? No not at all … comparing to an email that rendered an orgasm, im far off it, pig fucker! I haven go n count how many emails but my last trip of 6 days garnered 22, she foresee 30 and we both agreed there will be more, I’ll ve the numbers when im home. Take me home..to where I belong .. it’s the song ringing in my head now. I wanna be home into her arms. I did something beyond her imagination – I fell sick. I brought veragel (one word, vera didn’t know she has a gel named after her too) and thot I cld conquer the curry n the water. Despite I did not consume ‘holy water’, I stil fell sick! Allow me to say 1- tour guide wont ask tourist to drink 2- pple say drink, u really drink. Ok im done, peace! The nite I felt something not rite I pop veragel liao … as the nite goes, I puked 4x I lau-ed 2x. that morning after meeting an agent I headed back n puked my guts out, I spent the day resting. I knew my baby will be worried and I didn’t wan her to worry, so I sprang fr a deep sleep rite into my shoes and headed to look for a com. I needed help fr 4 hotel staff to make my way to the main door. As I didn’t ve anything since breakfast I wasn’t puking. The medication and comfort came in small letters but big dosage. . there was a reason to live. The 14” LCD displayed ‘Baby, u ok?’ did she felt my pain? Instantly I felt better, tho I was near tears knowing that she had been waiting n was worried as she felt something was not rite. Comfort was coming fr both sides, both hearts. I read the emails n each n every single one brought warmth to my heart, smiles to my face & love surrounding me. I cant keep up the rate she is writing as its abt 6-8 per day, by the time I finish reading im lost in dovey land of love as all the mails dictates how she went on abt her day, how she misses me, how she wish im back soon, as much as I like to read how she misses me its also hurts me reading her pain her loneliness her ‘wu nai’. I dun ve the means to reply her mails cos bandwave is sacred and must be respected. Sometimes I need it to clear office mail, sometimes to contact local pple cos it cost a freakin US$2000 to get a SIM card. Ok.. its cost 96c to call me, that I admit is a feasible plan, next time perhaps hee ;) I ve to create a folder for ur mails baby! It shall be named ‘baby’ – how uncreative ya? It’s a vault that holds our mails, our love together, I wish I can throw the key away but no, I wanna re-visit whenever we can. Jus like the co-joint ‘accounts’ we set up.. can open, can add but can nvr withdraw. While we re-visit as many times as we wish, we shall continue to put in the efforts to work things out for this is wat we want, and wat we wan for each other. We can also put real money in and continue to surf that website.

Some pics for ur viewing pleasures…

Traditional Longyi (1st Trial), seldom wore with long sleeves shirt, my bad!

2nd trial, with 'Jacket' and this jacket is formal n worn only on special occasion. Collar shirt inside is nt advised, my bad!

3rd Trial - finally i got it rite. Mandarin collar inside also. Not bad!

This is BEER ! really!!!

CNG has been in Myanmar for many years!! are we behind time???

2008-01-30T05:15:00.000+08:00

The late X’mas card…

Ever gotten a card, a X’mas card that’s nearly 3weeks late? Late for a few days still can bruff say waiting for new year. Wait a few weeks, no X’mas card send CNY card also gd ya? Haa, im nt pantang so its fine. Its even finer when its from someone u hold so close to ur heart, its finest at perfection especially when the content warms ur heart & I tried to hold back my tears.

Last yr November I fell down, I did many things I thot I wld never do, I wrote many letters that I thot I wld never pen. I wrote wit my heart and expressed wit my heart – only to be told “hold ur horses”. I ask myself if I wanna go thru all that again? I have to, I had to, I want to. . . I would not want to let something I cant, stop me from wat I can. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t ve found. My heart is something that I give out; and this time its for her to keep. I feel that when we stop to compete wit others and start to be special in our own ways; we grow strong individually to join forces 2b eternal friend and partners in life. I fell and I got up stronger; we togethergether got stronger. Yes, we tried to hide. Which is why everyone suspected but no one can confirm. But when we both decided not to hide; no one asked. When u r dying to give info n no one is askin the questions they were askin b4, its kinda hard to offer info forcefully on someone, we hinted, we disclose – pieces were put together but the big picture were nt put-ed together. But once everyone got to know abt it – blessings came. Close frens could see big n real changes. Family members say the most encouraging words. Colleagues had that “haa, we knew it” look n then smile big big. Dive buddies asked ‘diver ah?’ n when I said she cant swim they said ‘knn, u giving up diving ah?’ oh well – when things r in plan (hee ;p) there r some things u ve to compromise. I only ve 52 wkends. And if I continue to bring pple up to dayang, I’ll probably ve the next 52wks X 100 yrs alone. Divers no worries, im jus planning long trips and perhaps I shldnt say this; I proof it by opening my 2008 account wit SALU! Thx lao da, im sure u understand after salu. Im jumpin too many mths ahead. Lets go back to nov, no – I dun wanna talk abt nov. Dec now has two celebration, two bouquet of flowers and it was the beginning of a beautiful story in future now in progression waiting to be written by us. Met auntie by chance n all she could do was to laugh n laugh till the poor mother thot her daughter either high on drugs or going to ki siao! I had to address n introduce myself. Nice lady, who holds the family fort well n can diffuse a nuclear bomb wit her cooking utensils. Always smiling, always talking n she can sometime cracks me up n make me blush. Classic lines include: “aiya do abit of things kao peh kao gu kao mia” & “next time be ur wife must learn to do all this mah”. Uncle is a cute character, hails fr china n wakes up b4 dawn to provide for the family. I dun quite believe when she says he talks to NONE of her frens including bfs. I was told anything more then ONE sentence is an achievement; I guess I must ve did well wit a 10 mins conversation then (1st meeting). Then comes the cute young one, 180 metal head! I’ll call her real name if she starts calling me gor gor more… Some days she is good, some days she cranky ..well, teenager mah. Always ve something to say, opinion to voice… ooi, my hair is not that ugly lor! She said I brought life into the family. Then met her blossom buddies n they say can see her smiling, can feel her happiness even thru msn, they r even talking abt the pranks on wedding day liao! Closest colleagues says almost the same thing – those who deals wit her everyday says she look brighter n to a extend ve a halo-glowing kinda smiles. Even lao ban can say things like- u bring back discuss wit her! Im like warao … its an open secret also dun like dat lor. Wat is even more amazing is x’mas dinner my paternal side, cousins meetin her the 1st time asked when get invitation. I ve never see my sweet 2yr old princess en en allow a stranger to not oni carry but feed! Even I dun get that kinda privilege often. Hey come to think of it, I dun even get fed lor, I wanna be fed jelly. Ah ma shared food, not like eat fr same plate but u half I half shared. In my yrs of dating ah ma has never done that. Its always a good sign when ah ma remembers the name after 1st meetin. Ah ma said ‘faster faster bring home’. Parents assume n prepare her share during meals. Mummy expects her to help out during family gatherings; I think she sign n chop ‘pass’ when she heard ‘teochew’. Daddy, tho quiet at times, has smiled many times n gotten information fr mum. Anyone cool wit en en is cool wit my sister.

She promised we talk, we share n we walk this way together. Timing may nt always be good, but I like it when she adopts my style of nt takin things for granted. She puts in the effortà to care for me, to guide, to show concern, to spend time, to work out wat we wan in our future, to meet my family plus ‘extended’ families, to accept im a diver who needs to be constantly underwater, to spend time helping me wit ‘farm management’, to keep look at blind spot when I drive, to ensure I medicate myself when sick, to get well fast when she is sick, to sms me if I got hm safe, to help me defend when my shields r down, to help me attack when my sword is nt sharp, to let me decide if I wanna carry her bag in public, to ask me if im bored while she shops, to come out of the fitting room to see if I agree she looks gd whatever she is tryin out, to go to the airport to offer her hugs n kisses, to let me feel she misses me when im not wit her, to let me send her hm, to ve fun nua-ing, to tell me everythin on her mind (particularly at shenton party world/k box?), to plan where to go on holidays, to suggest where n wat to eat, to get in at 10am haha, to bio me while getting a drink, to leave hot chocolate/milo on my table, to force me eat pills, to sayang me when im in pain, to kiss me gdbye … the list goes on; but most importantly I see n feel the effort u love me wit all u ve, who u r & who u may be. My oath to u – I will do the same. . . and more.

When u say YES to me; ur YES allows me to love u more than before. When we join our love to even greater magical power of love we spread happiness & joy to those close.

Stay wit me forever take my hand and lets be together; lets fly up to the heavens above and show everyone we are in love. Witout u, color disappears slowly, Witout u, lion city falls asleep softly, Witout u, the breeze brings no wind, Witout u, witout my queen, whats the point to be king. Witout u, no music can amaze, Witout u, my hours are days,Witout u, my life feels bored, Witout u, I cannot adored. Witout u, thinking of u I cant go to bed, Witout u, I do not cannot see the horizon ahead, Witout u, there can be no heavens, Witout u, my time forgets its reasons. Witout u, I do not want to be chosen, Witout u, I cannot enjoy the magnificent ocean, Witout u, my happiness is forbidden, Witout u, I rather be bedridden, Witout u, nothing is at all pleasant, Witout u, I am wondering this question at this moment... I don’t wish to ever have to wonder. Witout u, my life I wanna delete, Witout u, my heart is incomplete.

U have given me a chance in life; never would I wanna give up my life
U've given me love I dream of forever; Happiness now that we're together
U will always be the woman who stand out from the rest; I treasure memory that u made the best
U've reached my heart deep wit ur gentle touch; I wanna tell the whole world I love u so much
Words cannot explain how thankful my life I ve u; U brought smiles to overcome my blue
The moments that we share, the memories we make; I promise ur heart won't shatter or even break
My world has changed now that u are here; u know I miss u when u are not near
Forever in my heart baby wit this love I keep; I'll always have u in my heart even when I'm sleep

In answer to your question- yes I’ll help you fulfill this dream of yours. Im lookin forward to your dream come true. Your boarding pass is valid, custom cleared and awaiting at departure gate.

This is poohbear & her donkey.

2007-12-05T23:24:00.000+08:00

How much pain can one inflict?

Initially its how much love can one give- my title? I ve since changed it to ‘how much pain can one inflict?’ if one is changed and re-discovered … wouldn’t one see wat the other party is going thru?? And if one see someone is suffering wouldn’t one stop/slack whatever one is doing if one love/loved… ? I question that, I question that all the time .. I can only say when one is blinded (nt by love); one cannot see.

This is after batam and after I got a cake… and hatching. Ever been strap on a roller coaster and have that feeling that you cant get off? I ve always thot I was abit of a adventurous person .. haa! Adventurous is an understatement a lot of my frens would say . . . no mater how adventurous I can be I didn’t like this ride at all! Nt a freaking bit! I constantly thot she wouldn’t be there when I get back.. be it anywhere I went.. be it where she went. Being in camp n missing someone I can finally understand why the trainees in NS is always moody n suicidal to a certain extend. To have something so so beautiful come to an end cos the government need us to go back to exhaust some rounds – the sound of it aint rite in the first place. The stupidity sets us back to Stone Age! Disgruntled - I went ICT, thank u for ur smses. The thot of booking out has nvr felt better and was the driving force for doing everythin each day; except IPPT; a few of us; erm in fact a big chunk of the platoon; fall into the NPT category. It’s a new category available oni in jurong camp II. Pathfinder all the way. Met lots of old mates and it seems like we r gonna be stuck together. I learn respect fr this PFC. I do u do we all do . .

Talking abt respect – I aint dis-ing u or anything. U lost my respect. U lost mine and her’s the moment u raised ur hand. Moment of folly? No! no matter how folly the moments; how moments can be folly or how foolish u r. NVR EVR slap a woman. Thats my take & thats how I was brought up. U shld know the instant moment ur hand landed on her cheek. That’s folly.

The roller coaster ride starts …

Someday its A, someday its B and on good days – it neither A nor B. I would actually prefer u on ur good days cos I think u can be clear headed when u do nt ve pple in ur face making choices for u. and when u r clear headed, u know how to think, when u know how 2think, u know wat, when u ve wat, u can visualize who. U know who- u know how. B4 I go further – I ve to say again; I do not like roller coaster rides like this. If u ever wanna put me thru something like dat, pls think, pls dun; cos I cant I wont; and u know.

The ride slowed down…then I went diving (will post pics up, promise). The ride starts again… cos as a ‘fren’ (up til this point I didn’t question ur intentions), meals has to be delivered!? My sms & calls not enough. I came back thinking I dun need to ride in theme parks anymore. . no – the rides starts again; a disappearing act. After I knew wat was communicated – I question ur intentions; I really did. I tried n I dun see anything. If things said u meant it – u wont be doing this! I said: if one day its nt me, dun even think abt u. Wat I ve done dun deserve; u lagi wont come close to deserving anythin. Wat came next was totally unexpected – a drama self directed starring urself. The punch line of the movie—EGO. Classic taste—Sour. U ever think b4 u say? U remember wat u said? U ever say & think abt it after? U ever spare a thot who u hurting?? I question NOT only ur intentions! I do not know why one would dig a hole, pour shit & jump in.

Fat uncle?? Haha, that’s cute! Pls recall wat ‘my fren’ said abt u when u were on the phone with me! Yes! U r all rite- only time will tell. No one needs to talk anymore. Let time do the talking.

For now- I wanna talk abt She. She is graceful like a skater, u can hardly tell if she slips/ nearly falls. She uses make up to look good which I keep telling her u already look gd sweetie! She works hard she spend hard. . She charms with innocent and wit. She looks with such positively at the world, thus she wont get upset easily. She think further than u think u thot. She is ordinarily tomboyish. She blends in wit the guys n could be mistaken for one sometimes. She believe in her own style confidently but she wont follow fashion ..more like in between plain jane & tai tai. The free spirited her dun like to stay hm. She can be pacified if u do the same thing she did to u, to her. She is an open person, too blunt at times! But she is honest n tries nt to cause inconvenience. She is gd wif her words.. hints :P and body language. She say things like I dun wan think abt u, so I ve more time for u to think abt me. She say things and make u wonder if u r upset or love her more. She respects she listens. She likes to be herself and her guy to be himself. She is no nonsense person thus wont hear her say things like – guess where we going. She say wat she thinks, loud like me. Its her nature to be clumsy. She is too friendly till enemy also becomes frens. She is hurt but she is nt afraid to look forward as if sayin ‘lets do it again’. She does not respect weak man. She like to be given a direction, not give her orders…

For now, lets work towards 'taking leave'.

2007-11-04T09:12:00.000+08:00

Lotsa things changed after Bali …

The month of October started wit lots of agony as I had to juggle work n writing my ‘essays’.. couldn’t concentrate n was trying best nt to screw up. No amount of SK-II put on my face can cover anything SK-I gave. . . she was pressurized herself too, so I tried nt to bug her as much as I can. As time went by… n by went time I think I DOK liao. Anything abt DO – can ask me. Nt I DO, also got pple ask me.. assuming I sign extra many pple came. MSD1 left the company, to where she wouldn’t say, with whom she wouldn’t reveal. Maple left too. .

Beside all that – we had choir!!! U put 20 pple together – u get a choir, can sing cannot sing we leave that to fate. Try explaining the meaning of the song to Rose .. we got stuck on the 1st line – softly knock awake the sleeping spirit within!! Wtf lor? We had daily practice which was time consuming but glad we turn out alrite. . i.e didn’t garbra, ve stage fright, sing wrong note..but we did sing wrong lyrics (haha, u know who hor). All this in the name if ICPAS, we got a goodie bag n a free dinner plus loads of pics n laughter! Rite after 明天会更好 was it really 更好 ?

明天 we went batam! Batam will always ve fond memories…

Thank you for the surprise party :P

Highlights of the trips… quite a few --> got pple ask need to bring passport ah? Best line goes to DH: “bro, how many underwear u bringing? “ 2nd prize goes to S Leng:” I thot seaweed grab my fin”

Telematch – Chicken Team; we did good. (dun ask me!!, the local facilitator split us into Tiger, Chicken & monkey – I guess his creative juice was at max that day) We worked as a team, we had sportsmanship, we were innovative, adaptive n we certainly had teamwork. And damn we sure looked gd even wit sai zhuar on/ around/surround/wrap on our head!

Then hor …. 明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会, 我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天, 直到那一天你会发现, 真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲. Having shared so so much since u came back, im glad you are doing ok (dun be greedy now) and u r sorting out lots of things.

I know I miss these days and I can jus sit here all day thinkin about the times, events, people and places. Over a period of time, I ve learned new things, new ways of doing something, new ways of treating people, new ways of handling situations and most important of all – new way of looking at love -> unconditional love is not possible. We, as humans, can never ever love unconditionally. I guess when u r in a relationship – it’s a ‘condition’ love. The condition is love me only, or I’ll love someone who love me only. 10Q u intro this song to me, dunno if u wan me understand lyrics … 你不懂我的那些憔悴 ,是你永远不曾过的体会 , 为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解. This is the common ground that couples work their relationship on, I guess. There maybe testing times where people go thru reality check, life threatening situations, walks of life. . . all these tests – no matter how hard, u’ll need to make a decision. A decision is not hard to make, it is the consequences that u’ll ve to bear upon making that decision. We can make decisions easily, but to bear the consequences?!?! I think twice now. U dunno wats happening tomoro. U cannot promise me wat will happen tomoro, at this point I often 静静关上门来默数我的泪 but u know wat i saying, u know wat I said, u even know wat im going to say! u can take ER's advice: pple give, u take la... !!! but know where ER is coming from 1st. i may be 'over' doing somethings ..u may say its jus for now, its short term, etc watever. but remember this- im as stubborn as u r. i say 1 its always 1. NASA is not so zhun half the time lor! dun ask me why; as some qns need no answers. dun ask me how; as some answers leads to qns. no qns dosent mean answers r short changed. u have my answers and u know im going to be there with you, for you. If "fate" would wish so, things could progress from there. If not, then at least we have the memories. 不想爱的太多痴心绝对, 为你落第一滴泪, 为你做任何改变, 也唤不回你对我的坚决. Vary abit here – u know wats my decision as it was told.

2007-10-20T11:43:00.000+08:00

Trip: Bali 14 to 20 September.
Operator: BIDP
Dive Buddies: Jelissa Bernard Freddy Corine Yingfong Jon Aikseng Patricia Roy Eve

Highlights:
Stana Puri Gopa Bali. 1st Bali meal with AikSeng Jon, Roy, Aikseng, eve, YF. i had a “combo” of seafood mee goreng n bintang beer. I strongly believe that meal cause me the agony starting fr 4am. Buddy oni woke up at 7 lor. Didn’t LS or PS, vomit all the way, everythin out. Took 4 panadol, 5 po chai pills, 4 charcoal, 3 lomotil . . First time in life after being a ‘self doctor’- I actually said to bern bern: bring me to a hospital.YF’s lomotil worked – thx bro, ar bo I wont be able to dive liao! We arrived at Matahari Resorts in Tulamben and dive dive dive.1st dive in Bali - shore dive; Seraya Bay. Highlights: villagers bringing dives bags on head, foot massage wit pebbles/rocks, slippers clip to BC ‘Mr Fam’. Below is me in sick mode and in fun mode :P:

2nd and 3rd dive - Liberty Wreck. Heard so much n it certainly live up to its name! Highlights: school of jacks! Awesomely amazingiously BEAutiful .. didn’t have nite dive but timing wise; by the time we enter water, skies dark liao… highlight: 6mins 47secs looking at ONE sea fan! (u know who u r!!)… surface liao – had fun with the waves and had a back rub knn! Water was 26-27, and with the added wind, kaoz, lampa also smaller by 1 size!

We check out from Matahari Resorts n headed to Padang Bai. Along the way Mt Agung… breathtaking!
It started wit everyone excited abt the lengendary cold water! But we didn’t expect Current! This is really current. 2 hands must use strength to hold on one! I turn over 2 table coral, 3 small rocks and moved at least 2 big rocks. Luckily Pat was cool n still able to take videos… which was highlighted in our video!

Then there was Manta Point. Hao xiao lor… where got manta – stingray sibey a lot oni lor. I jus regretted no bring sambal go down oni! The surge made Pat vomit and she was out on the boat for the next 2 dives! Which was abit long piak, cos both dives, mola sightings. I wanted to give up diving after that one… the creature was simply gracious magnificent in every sense.

the nitrox boat -->

We also went to a dive site call SD. Yes, like SD card the SD. Lots of seagrass! And as usual the dugong joke came about lor. Was kinda hoping to see one. Called SD cos it’s the coast there is all school. Sekola District :”)

Me & Buddy: Pat "The Lo Han"

We return home on 20th. 21st I was in Dayang!

2007-09-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

I very very strongly believe a prayer is the most personal gift that we can offer to those we care and love. Prayers is definitely something u can give over and over again and then give again ... I ve told myself that each n every prayer of mine shld contains the four elements that Jesus taught His disciples: Adoration, Supplication, Forgiveness and Thanksgiving. There shld be NO duplicates.

At 20yrs old, I was not with God, but He did show me wat love was.
Had my 1st “love” at 20, but it didn’t las..
Reason - I wanted answers she couldn’t give.
Then there was a long one where it was almost like marriage
But I didn’t cherish and soon I was looking at the back of the carriage..
Since then… I never really had ‘the one’ possibilities.

When things takes an unexpected turn, wat do u do wit it? . . . u take the turn (signal before turning) like it was meant to be turned - for u know where this turn will lead u. A road junction comes up infront of u, wat do u do? Left, right or straight? Take it, whatever feels right; stare it in the eyes n take it; dun look back for u ve chosen; treasure wats infront, dun head back where u came from. Head forward; Lord didn’t promise a safe landing but HE ensures a safe passage. But first u gotta get a license to drive la …. Palsm 23: The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want… i ve been thinking abt HIM alot lately. HE has had me thinking on these verses for some time now. I had a period where major stressful thing that can happen in life happened.

May health surround us all. On our journey ahead and throughout the years. May happiness be our companion to the place where the horizon meets. When there is frustration, difficulty and fear remember to focus on what is right, not only the part which seems wrong. This way, we ride out the storms. Treat each other and yourself with respect, and remind often of what we can deliver. When clouds hide the face of the sun in our lives, remember that even if we lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.

God wants everyone to receive eternal life (John 3:16)

Father in heaven, we hear all Your promises. Guide us always to be wise in understanding Your will as it is in Your holy words. As we seek Your kingdom and blessings, I know You will take care of everything. In Jesus powerful name we pray - Amen

2007-08-09T22:51:00.000+08:00

As we celebrate our independence today – im proud to be Singaporean. Did u stand at attention when u hear the anthem? did u or did u not?

Cant help but asked myself – wats independence? Dictionary says its the state or quality of being independent. Its also a competency.

Thank u peeps for the concerns, emails, msn, sms, calls – im fine, really. It may nt ve taken 42yrs, but im competent. It aint that bad. When u give someone a key and she dun uses it; wat u wan me to do? Wat u wan me to say? Enough said enough done, dun say I nvr try hard enough. U push to a certain extend and when nothing is pushing back – u dun push anymore. In actual fact, I didn’t have to push at all; waste time n effort.

Okie …. Lets talk abt my trips! After Xi An; which I enjoyed so much; it was Myanmar.. yangon oni.

Xi An had a small little surprise installed for me. I shall nt talk abt it. The exihibition was much better than the one I went wit kelly. There were actual participants lor. Food was jus simply awesome!! Mountains were breath takin! Other normal stuff …. Like: CZ flights, noise in plane, food, stewardess speakin English, on land traffic, home made bike/cars, metals balls crossin roads, etc .. pretty much PRC :)

How is Myanmar different this time? Hmm, maybe cos my boss is here this time. I was kinda expecting the rest to be the same… wooah man, I was wrong. Reception, hospitality was so so much better. Other then that, currency rate dropped, service standard dropped. I didn’t spend much money this time siah! Why, go everywhere agent pick up, eat anything, agent pay. While on silkair flight there, there was a joke.. wat those thing call… those silkair magazine where u can purchase dutyfree n stuff. Ok, this guy asked for a ‘Today’ paper (26th July) and when the attendant announce the ‘air shop’ is open, this guy called an attendant to him and pointed to a advertisement page in ‘Today’ papers. I couldn’t hide my amusement.

Had wats its called Myanmar massage, wa lan eh!! Really all I can say is warao! For those who do IPPT, u know wat its feels like to do the sit & reach! Well….almost wit each elbow, each press, each stretch I feel I was gonna die. When they asked me how I feel ..all I could say was ok ok. Cos none of them let out ANY cry of pain at all, I didn’t wanna be a wouse.. when I finally let one out, they were all shocked to see me in pain. I told them I felt like I was brought back to Japanese occupation time where this would consider a torture!

Had a pretty pleasant time at the Shwe Dagon Pagoda this time, wit a tour guide. I had a better understanding of the place n also its history. It was pretty refreshing knowing that my representing animal is a guinea pig.

Oh dang – I saw jeff wang, lee guo huang in my hotel. Lee guo huang even smiled at me. I heard him speak with confidence and good English. He seems humble, no airs, approachable n even si boon to an extend! My impression of him as a ‘ah beng’ has completely took a 360 C turn! How I met them was thru chuan hao, cindy’s bf. Had a shock at the café during breakfast when I was checking out (well, I wasn’t checkin out) Cassandra as she seems to come fr Singapore- then suddenly a hand appeared. Next word I hear wat are u doing here? Look up – there’s chuan hao! They here to do a programme; if im not too wrong – it’s a programme getting ang mo to speak Chinese. Wahaha, some Burmese can speak Chinese lor. Fact 2 – u wan ang mo, u go Traders hotel loh. I would love to join their programme – if I can hold my laughter. Im nt a pro, I would point at the angmo n laugh as loud as I possibly can. Call me a ching – its fine, excuse me mate, can u speak ching? Naaahh … u cant. Im proud to be ching…wooya!

Tried the freakin skype here. F**king hell, the internet still hasn’t improve at all. Despite my relentless tryin, I managed to call home once… genna fr dad askin: “are u crazy” YES im! Cos im crazy enough to try n try and it dosent work for like …forever.

All in all, this whole trip is not too bad. Gd seminars, gd food, gd hospitality, gd responds … I hope my boss enjoyed her trip.

Lamb!!!!!!!!!!!!! Xi An Muslim street ...

Shwe Dagon Pagoda - in new lights

2007-08-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

Why I keep the clock?

And then … in a short period of 3days, it seems that u r out of my life. If u think u r protecting me, u r not. I still cant comprehend why it happened and how fast u executed me. Why of all things I kept a clock? This ringing alarm reminds me of why I wake up each day.. I looked forward to a start of a new day, with u. When I open my eyes u r there. A dream last nite is a dream last nite; when the sound of the alarm; we awake to make our dreams. Now, it jus a ringing alarm ……. gd nite.

2007-08-04T10:31:00.000+08:00

Do I dare to love again?

Answer is most unlikely.. looks what happens when u give ur all to someone and she says I have always treated you like a fren. It made me wondered if we shld ve stayed as friends becos it was a wonderful equation when we could talk jus abt anything n everythin. I will miss ur smiles; ur attitude; the way u shop; the way u dive; the tantrums when im traveling; the talks on long distance calls, the emails, the hugz I get when I return; how ur sehness cracks me up; puttin off showers for SO many reasons; how u scream in delight when u see cute kids; the shoulders u provide when im down; and jus abt everythin about you.

you are so so cruel, you let me into hell and though i would rather not send my soul to purgatory nor open my heart just so that you can rip me apart. Im in the midst of all the pain, anguish & rejection i have never come across.... im bleeding inside. while i wondering what death looks like; longing for relief to my pain…. yes, Im hurt. yet amidst all this i still love you. You take care now okie.

2007-06-17T11:48:00.000+08:00

I find it completely unacceptable in here that I left out my last two dive trips. Both to Dayang.. Im gonna make it up by doing a small analysis…Z is an operator and Y is also an operator that I dived with recently. The feeling was totally different. I felt different myself too … it was a feeling I cant put a finger to.

Z n Y both has its good points, Y is, I felt, is a tat more customer/ service oriented. Z has fun factor more. Wat I like abt Y is the organisation, pre n post emails, online registration for gear rental (warao, I think they got me there!) gear rental lor… and last but not least – the instr is there only to teach, no more no less. Those on both Dayang trip can vouch my findings. There is no rush no shouting on boat. Y’s DMs conducts briefing, timings, logging, etc, he totally no ‘chap’ no say anything on the boat – i.e it gives pple the idea DMs run their own show.…man of few words. He came he saw he guided…

Operator: Z & Y
Dive Sites: Sebukang x2, Lang x3, Boiler, Dayang Tip, Rayner’s Rock x3, Crocodile Rock, Kador, Dayang Jetty, Captains Point, Pinang, Alantis Bay, Aur Jetty.
People on both trips: Julia, Lance, Ricky and myself

Thank you peoples!

And I still cant take proper pictures!!!

2007-05-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

And then, I was in Vietnam … here the bird will lay some eggs. But not as many as I thot it will be. Pple here not as nice and polite, on a scale, they r no where close to Myanmar. Amidst all the business visiting I manage to squeeze in a few shots… however I did nt manage to ask: where is this place? What is this? How is this made? How did it get here.. etc etc .. anyway – I explain what I can … bear with me hor.

Shoemaker make shoe give to shoe seller

Kopi powder ... arabica??

Fruit seller

Mother n child

I think he is ho chi minh

Biker zooming pass, dunno sell wat also

Chio bu eating pho with me eating pho next to the chio one

Fish seller, pls note the fish 'ON' the stall

I think its tau you, but they cant tell me wats the secret brew..

Kid’s dicky :) cute leh ..

Auntie, chase her nearly 400m to take this shot

City view from hotel

Drink station … yes, all her drinks issue here one

2007-05-15T02:36:00.000+08:00

Erm… I was in Myanmar …

This is a country where the birds dun lay eggs.

Shock 1 – they dun have their currency running in the world, have to bring USD in to change. Really ah? I asked at least 4times n even tried to change Myanmar kahts over the counter wit two different changer.
Shock 2 – brand new samsonite scratch til the samsonite factory also cannot recognize.
Ok, infact everything was like a shock somehow… and u might not believe it, SIM card cannot anyhow purchase, u need a deposit of USD2K, yes, 2K to purchase one. And even upon the purchase of one, it takes few months to approve or something. Even if I had the time to wait, when I get the card I cant use also as I hear to call overseas is not possible, something like no satellite or government ban call out… so comes the next best thing which is internet, shock again – internet is ban too! They block ALL sites from, in, going, coming from USA ie yahoo, hotmail, msn, etc. These pple got a serious problem with US. To think that US feature them so much in their Hollywood movies… huh, u must wondering, when? If u manage to catch some classic war movies – Rangoon is this city im in lor!

Did I add – the city is a shock, shocking beautiful…

Okie ...Pictures time!! >.<

Shwe Dagon Pagoda - majestic ... jus majestic.

This is a bus and it jus ran outta seats thats all..

Traditional powder - beautify, maintain and keep cool

Hawkers making a living from they harvest

Pagoda .... Pagoda .... Pagoda

Pure drinking water, certified fit for human consumption. This little wonder cost S$0.40

2007-05-12T17:33:00.000+08:00

Following that pic, im actually adding some more ...
that was actually a trip to Kranji Farm with SAA. It was a frog farm cum some vege farm visit in Kranji. i went with the intention to buy some cheap vegetables (ya rite! i not housewife lor) however... armed with my cam, insect repellent we set to venture the rural singapore.. instead of enjoying the lust green 'outback' .. all i could think of was geylang lor 3 --> would the 'frog leg porridge' be as nice as them?! kns - i was told ' no frogs will be harmed in the process of our visit'

all in all, it was a great experience to see the other side of singapore n mixing some sweat with the new cohort of friendly co-workers. here's some pics .. yes! its like children day...

2007-05-06T11:26:00.000+08:00

People say my blog boring liao ...

So i put some pics out lor.

Happy??? KNN!

2007-03-25T12:00:00.000+08:00

Oh well, I know I ve not been here awhile. I actually wanted to write a song that rhymes..(jus like the one in Music & Lyrics – if u ve nt seen it, GO NOW!) but aint that abit too cheesy? She aint a fan of cheese. I did not ve a writer’s block la. I have been busy… yes I ve been. Since coming back from manado (oh sweet manado) few things changed. Had a new job but I stil back in the educational industry. Didn’t really had time, really. Pple out there, hang in there im stil here if u ever need me. Sunshine must shine orh .. : ) and those who dun need me, kopi vouchers up for grabs, call 1800 kopiwithkieren okie?

In the midst of all these chaos, I found something that I like and can stil manage. Comparing to a certain PEO I used to work for, this is heaven. Haha, oh ..and the pple is stil more or less the same too. Girl, dun u leave now that im in. Highlights in Jan: new job, new pple, new theme song :p , Feb: bestest start to the month, visited old places with new pple, bought hammies for her, bestest V-day gift someone can ever give me, great CNY & dates to remember and yes we are together now, Mar: exhibition, dinner with her sis first, then family . . wah, stress abit and heavy heavy travel plans which brings me to NOW!!! Before I move on to the main objective, I would like to thank her again for giving me this opportunity to be with her, to care and to love her: If there wasn’t a BBQ, I wouldn’t ve met u. If I never met u, I wouldn’t ve gotten to know u better. If I didn't get to know u better, I wouldn't ve fallen for u. If I didn't fall for u, I wouldn't miss u. But I did, I do, and I will.

For u who know who u r, yes I miss u ….!
For those who know who she is, give us ur blessings.
For those who dunno who she is, give us ur blessings too.
For those who wanna know who she is, she is special.
For those who dunno who we r, keep us in ur prayers for we’ll keep u in ours.

God bless

From me to u, wit luv.

2007-02-05T22:20:00.000+08:00

Trip: Manado 2007, Minahasa Divers
Operator: Scubahub

Date: 13 - 17 january

Travel Group: John, Simon, Nicholas, Chee Teck, Yu Lin, Michael, Matthew, Patricia, Hwee Ling, Julia.

Dive Master: Reinhart Garang (aka Braveheart)
Dive location: Bunaken / Lembeh

Sites: Minahasa House Reef I, Fukui Point, Lekuan II, Timur II, Nubi Retreat, Hairball, Aer Prang, Tanjong Kopi, Sachiko Point (3708) & Muka Kumpung

Provincial capital of North Sulawesi. …filled with an abundance of consumer goods and agricultural produce, while behind every building are glimpses of emerald hills and azure sea.we were told ….. Extraordinary walls and vertiginous drop-offs, rich in corals and reef fishes…lots of feather-stars, sponges, nudibranches, gorgonians and more… In several diving spots, turtles, jack-fish, barracudas, napoleons, white and black-tipped sharks can be observed. NO kidding – it was nudi galore, weird stuff and your normal .. giant turtle, black tip la ..oops..did I say normal ..haha. ok dun kuai lan.

Strait of Lembeh is in fact an underwater pass, 50 km from Manado, long of 15 km and with a maximum depth of 30 meters. The specific flora and fauna are truly unusual. This is the kingdom of the “strange” and the unexpected. Highlights -à pygmy sea horse, hairy frogfish, ornate ghostpipefish, emperor shrimp, renovorous (spelling sala, confirm) ...

Let the pics talk again la... lembeh, u wait for me hor. i will come back!

Rashguard Divers all the way!

Others hiding from cam or sun ...

the ladies - Julia Patricia Hweeling

Courtesy from Simon Wong

Courtesy from John Chew

Courtesy from Patricia Ang (Winning shot)

Thank you guys!!

2006-12-31T22:36:00.000+08:00

O sacred Trinity, hear our prayers to our Holy Father in heavens. Bless, we beseech Thee, during the coming years; soften our sinful heart so that we may return to Thy friendship. Give prosperity to our country and world peace! Pour down thy blessings upon my friends, relatives and family; and also upon my enemies if I have any. Have pity on the soul of those whom this year has taken from us; and do Thou be merciful to those who during the coming year will be called upon before Thy judgment seat. May all my actions be preceded by Thy inspirations and carried on by Thy assistance, so that all my prayers and works, having been begun in Thee, may likewise be ended thru Thee. Holy Father in heaven, Creator of all and source of all goodness and love, look kindly upon us and receive our heartfelt gratitude. In Your infinite generosity, grant us continued graces and blessing throughout the coming year. In Jesus powerful name - Amen

2006-12-24T17:45:00.000+08:00

Lord, this is my prayer
Not only on Christmas Day!
But until I see You

Like the baby Jesus we all ever hope to be,
Resting in Your arms, trusting in Your sovereignty.

Like the growing Christ child, in daily learning,
We seek to know You with our mind and spirit yearning.

Like the Son so faithful, let me follow in Your light,
Meek and bold, humble and strong, not afraid to face the night.

Nor cowardly to suffer and stand for truth alone,
Knowing that Your kingdom awaits my going home.
Not afraid to sacrifice though great may be the cost,
Mindful how You rescued me from broken-hearted loss.

Today while this world rejoices and celebrates Your birth,
I treasure You, the greatest gift

And may heaven welcome others who will join with me in praise
Because I lived for Jesus Christ NOT only Christmas Day

2006-12-19T16:00:00.000+08:00

Trip: Sgscubaforum Warm Up Dive

Operator: Dolphin Dive

Date: 17 December
Travel Group: Peter, Pauline, Jon, Julia, Jaz, Joanne, Daniel, Glenn & Aaron
Dive Master: WATER? (aka Peter Woo)

Sites: Hantu (Pulau Hantu)

Highlights of the trip:

Pages after pages of reading b4 dive (non-diving readin)
I want chicken rice
Bukit is mountain, lorong is road. Uncle – we going Chermin Road
Wah … cable car veli nice hor
Whey listen to briefing can or not?
Huh, not the big boat ah?
My name is Joanne, ei wtf ..no no…my name Aaron!
Gogo pink power ranger
Where were you?
Where is your buddy?
Who is my buddy?
I got buddy meh??
I cannot see your ass!! I surface
I followed your ass, don’t even know whose ass.
Ah Zhui, you cold ah???
Ah Zhui, you pang sai ah??? (no la, siao)
I am your kopi boy huh, nb :)
Tank haven change Tank (Tank changer blur look – huh, who)
Bearing North, reef behind, can see – see, cannot see – bo bian
Best Question of the day – Where is your buddy?
Best Answer/s of the day – Buddy?? Dunno leh ..
Are they standing up????
Bath robe gay meh??
Punggol Nasi Lemak? Siao – I stay bukit batok lor

Gay meh???

2006-12-19T09:20:00.000+08:00

2nd Dec...

It was a hot day in Sentosa that day, after a bit of a hassle with the DM (duty manager) we were ushered in by the DM (Dive master) to the back of the tanks where the real mystery begins ...
pictures were not allowed at the back, but we were shooting away like mediacorp news crew on a mission. paperwork was done (liability forms), then the checking of ur C card (to be sure u diver) and issue gear (wetsuit, bootie, BC & mask). safety briefing done - woohoo, lets jump in.

Let the pictures speak la.

2006-12-07T17:24:00.000+08:00

So often in the modern world when someone dies, one of the deepest sources of anguish for those left behind to mourn is their conviction that there is nothing they can do to help their loved one who has gone, a conviction that only aggravates and darkens the loneliness of their grief. Every thought or spiritual practice we offer can influence her consciousness in a positive way.

It is difficult to express words of comfort and assurance when the reality is so fresh. Yet, even amid such grief and horror, we have the promise of our Lord that we can always turn to Him as our eternal comfort and hope.

We are praying now and will continue to pray for the strength and well-being. May the Lord lend His hand to those seeking to heal. And may He impart His peace—though their sadness and suffering be overwhelming now—to the loved ones of those in this tragic

In loving memory

Lord Jesus, you who are shepherd of your people, remember especially in loving mercy - Marvin and all our beloved departed, marked with the sign of faith, who have gone before us. You are the Good Shepherd who has laid down your life for us, your sheep. We entrust to your tender care and guidance all those we so dearly love. You are our risen Lord, our hope of glory. You know your own, and your own know you. Bring all those we love to everlasting life with you in heaven. For we believe in the resurrection of the body and in life everlasting. Amen

2006-12-04T12:00:00.000+08:00

its been awhile huh?
ok la - http://www.iStrology.com/love/?o=795559108

For those who believe in love..

2006-11-15T01:33:00.000+08:00

I have lain awake many sleepless nights trying to compose words that might adequately describe the feelings of my heart. But every time I have made the attempt I have failed miserably. Please forgive my poor effort and accept a trite and simple phrase: I miss you. I think I can say it no better than this.

At Least I Still Have You
a song by Sandy

I'm afraid there's not enough time, I want to hold you Until your wrinkles have traces of the years Until I'm sure you're real, until I lose my strength For you, I'm willing Even if I can't move, I want to look at you Until your hair has traces of white snow Until my vision becomes blurred, until I can't breathe Let us be as inseparable as body and shadow Supposing I could let go of the whole world At least I still have you, deserving me to cherish you And having you here is a miracle of life Perhaps I could forget the whole world I'm just not willing to lose your news The mole in your palm, I always remember it's there I'm afraid there's not enough time, I want to hold you Until your hair has traces of white snow Until my vision becomes blurred, until I can't breathe Let us be as inseparable as body and shadow It's not easy for us, our bodies are not free I'm afraid time is too fast, I can't see you clearly I'm afraid time is too slow, I worry day and night that I'll lose you Wishing that we'll grow old in one night, and never be apart

2006-11-05T11:14:00.000+08:00

I very sure we all met birds! And I specifically mean jiao lang. pple who thoughtlessly parrot watever u say, "The world is full of cruel pple!" But let's not be thoughtless in our response and dismiss such pronouncements without taking heed lest they be true…

Why should dat make u sad, I am sure you meet plenty of jiao lang!! Then stop crying abt how u have no purpose and talk to me abt politics. no. In a way i must say i envy you. U know why u exist.

U know u r a little crazy sometimes n quite hard to shut up at times (most times) But u know how i am la n how i protect my mind. i know u have gotten scared cos u didn't know wat was next. But lots of pple can read me like a book still no one broke me. i couldn't give up.

Because the reasons would be cock! sometimes u won't admit it u r upset but u keep it cool. Probably that's why i wonder why u make up ur own rulez!! Ur confidence, ur smile, ur blur-ness, its looks cute on u. Though u r confident I know half the time, u don't have a freakin clue… hahaha hehehe

Ur personality is special And i have learned to appreciate it. i love everything about u. Every tinsy bit i find myself blogging. But i know u wouldn't care, even it is about u. Because i really don't like to share i have an addiction; not to money or fame but to ur laughter and giggles. Instead of wat we use to have i couldn't write this without u in a couple of rhymes. But it is okay with dat u don't wan anything to do here …

So u know who u are. No need to mention ur name because u know u are special to me; will forever love you just the same.

2006-10-29T19:06:00.000+08:00

Date: 1st Nov.. survey close
Answer: Its the mid section to a stand up boxing bag.

We had: Junk, Portable air con, toy, giant dildo, gun, lolipop display, monkey ramp, wine cooler, garden lamp, elephant tampon.
Thank you all for participating and those creative ideas :)

Bo liao Survey 2
Title: What is this?
Close date: 1st Nov
Prize: One dive trip

2006-10-24T01:14:00.000+08:00

Trip: Liveaboard
Operator: White Manta
Date: 20 -22 October
Travel Group: Derrick, Dorothy, Joanne & Eve
Sites: Kotoka, 7 Skies Wreck, Telok Teluran, Pinnacle 1 and Jack Rock

Highlights of the trip:

wanna go, dun wanna go?
ok, must meet up b4 we all go dive
TMFT car can go in meh?
wa lau, first time go diving meh? Must send off ah?
cheong duty free ah!
welcome briefing, very pro.
I cannot sleep top cos climb up no ladder, veli unglam
I cannot sleep below cos I knock my head
garung guni horn for everything… be alert hor
after dinner we play cards n drink hor – kns all sleepz. Except for diaoz
1st briefing late liao ..
2nd briefing also late
3rd, 4th, 5th, either late or buddy go can liao, kooonz
huh? U all dun cater for halal meh?
wreck no fish one. Why huh?
where is our DM? TV room?? Pple in water liao leh.
skip dinner, rest for night dive
dinner at past midnight!
dai di n Sheridan . .
my face will go red but im not drunk … *wuoah* vomit!
no no no pinnacle must bring cam!! Must bring must bring
bill came first, then jack came along… at the rock
why you all sleep so much one huh?
where all the tidbits?

The Group

The cabin

7 Skies

DM Nelson, when he not in TV room

Fog still can see meh? CAN ...got right eye mah..

Milo oni right? think so much?

Jellyfish la, bro

wtf is this?

More pic to come, feel free to add/comment on my comments :p

2006-10-15T00:18:00.000+08:00

Pain ...... it has an element of blank
Pain also cannot recollect
When it begin or even if there were
A time when it was not.

2006-10-12T01:44:00.000+08:00

END of survey!
Bo liao survey 1 standing: 24 Oct

Contestant 1: Mrychelle
No of votes: 4

Contestant 2: Clara
No of votes: 10

Contestant 3: Liza
No of votes: 1

Contestant 4: Tracy
No of votes: 1

Contestant 6: Abi
No of votes: 2

Contestant 7: Evelyn
No of votes: 9

Contestant 8: Eve
No of votes: 6

Contestant 9: Dorothy
No of votes: 4

Contestant 10: Pauline
No of votes: 1

Contestant 11: Liz
No of votes: 8

Contestant 12: Sheena
No of votes: 1

2006-10-10T16:11:00.000+08:00

OK - Bo liao survey No. 1
Title: Who look good with kieren?
Disclaimer: i bo liaoz :)
Rule: None

So vote away as many as you want.

Contestant 1: Mrychelle

Contestant 2: Clara

Contestant 3: Liza

Contestant 4: Tracy

Contestant 5: Withdrawn

Contestant 6: Abi

Contestant 7: Evelyn

Contestant 8: Eve

Contestant 9: Dorothy

Contestant 10: Withdrawn

Contestant 11: Liz

Contestant 12: Sheena

Those not in the list that dun mean i dun love you! :P
Those in the list that dun mean i love you either :P
This aint anything meant to put these ladies out like meat, these in fact are the ones that has contributed to a part of my life i would like to say significant!
Those feel that they must be in or must be taken out, feel free to voice your opinion.
Let me know via any means (SMS, email, comments, etc your votes).
Jus give me the number can liao... e.g 2 (space) clara to 94388767/email/comment
Voting close end of the month, but updates will be given as and when!
And NO - u do not have to pay for SMS and NO - there will be no prize for the winner!

2006-10-10T15:37:00.000+08:00

I am Bedtime Bear and i stay up nights. He's the special bear who helps people get a good night's sleep and makes sure that they have sweet dreams. There's no better bear buddy for a goodnight hug. Bedtime has a symbol that says what he's all about—a sleepy-faced moon.

Caring Mission: Helps people sleep.

Symbol: His crescent moon symbol represents his nighttime mission.

Personality: Brave and alert (at night).

Character Quirk: During the day, he's always confused or dozing off.

Color: Blue.

Best Friend: Wish Bear

Relationship Challenge: He is baffled at how to help Friend Bear get over her fear of the dark.

Motto: Sleep is what I do best!

2006-10-06T12:23:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of you again
Caught in an embrace I cant explain
Going to a place unknown
Your eyes caught my reflection
Shimmered for the world to see.

Two entwined with each other
Like grape vines twisting and crawling
In the garden we danced
Upon the grass we lay and feel safe
We have each other beneath the stars.

The light spun, binding us
All of nature watching
Beneath the canopy of the universe
We sighed and connected
Spoke words of hope, promises and dreams.

O woe O woe
Its only a dream I dream
Time to awaken and that’s goes the same for you.

2006-10-03T03:29:00.000+08:00

Thot i share this with everyone ...

The bunny has spoken ... :P

2006-10-01T14:54:00.000+08:00

Today children day! When was the last time we felt like a child? When was the last we smile like a child? When was the last time we see the world in childlike form?

Mark 9:37 "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

She's got a smile that it seems to me Reminds me of childhood memories Where everything Was as fresh as the bright blue sky Now and then when I see her face She takes me away to that special place And if I'd stare too long I'd probably break down and cry Sweet child o' mine Sweet love of mine She's got eyes of the bluest skies As if they thought of rain I hate to look into those eyes And see an ounce of pain Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place Where as a child I'd hide And pray for the thunder And the rain To quietly pass me bySweet child o' mine Sweet love of mine Where do we go Where do we go now Where do we go Sweet child o' mine

i wish all those who put a smile on me a happy children day... :)

2006-09-25T03:10:00.000+08:00

Latest trip – Dayang 15th to 17th Sep
Operator: Scubahub
Instructor: John Chew
DM: Geraldine Hung
Buddy: Simon Wong

Sites: Jawa, Lang, Pinang, Dayang Jetty, Dayang Tip and last but not least: Pinnacle 2

Pinnacle 2 was perfectly beautiful on 17th at 07:21am. Had abit of a hard time finding it. But lucky I got good eyes. It was somewhere along the way that we saw dolphins. Well – not all of us, in fact only Ben! To the group of pple we dived with, thank you. The trip would have been different without you – effendi, kat, eddie, ben, Alvin, eveline, soo pin, kelly, ivy. To the staff; john, geraldine & simon – so much shared, so much learned – xie xie.

Highlights of the trip:
· Wah – first time I go dive trip got itinerary one!
· Lucky clear road block – you thank your God, I thank my God
(can. No prob, but dun molest me la, wle)
· F1 racing at night . . . dun see small size hor . . .got sound one ah
· I cannot swim but I can dive
· Shit dive – we dive into shit. Shit dive… shit
· Jellyfish (need to say more? )
· 4 camera, not one go down???
· Who teach me jump from bow? My asshole pain – by DM Simon Wong

Actually - not only this came down, there was 1 pair of fins also....

The crew

For Ben, recap ... :p

2006-09-25T03:09:00.000+08:00

And so it has come down to this. I also don’t wat really happen. Though you’ll always remain in my heart, nothing will be the same. It was amazing to realize that clichés can be so so true.... “Hang on to every moment, every day,” when I showed you off as mine. i smiled and pretended to agree, to understand something beyond my wisdom. But what did I know? I was barely more than a child myself.

We r at an age when we don’t want to be told what to do and don’t understand. So forgive the lump in my throat; you were here such a short time, and if I had my way, I would hold you desperately and keep you here. I tried to let go as I longed to hang on, so forgive me if the parting has come too quickly. It’s the same theory; cupping a butterfly in our palms and withhold it from its purpose—its freedom. So as you think about me with whatever emotion is appropriate, feel free to not focus on my pain, my longing—yes, my grief. It’s a hurdle. It’s my burden, not yours. I wish I could approximate the unconditional love of God. Where I have failed to communicate to you, I can only apologize and ask your forgiveness.

2006-09-11T23:02:00.000+08:00

Wat the fark is wrong with pple nowadays? Why do they have this compelling urge to blast music from their handphone on buses? Few things I need to say:

Not all pple enjoy YOUR kind of music.
Even if no one says anything, that dosent mean they enjoy your music and you have to up the volume a few more notches.
If pple starts moving to the front (even if it meant squeezing with a drunk), dun you get it?
If your battery fails on you, it’s a sign. But not a sign for you to change battery and play again lor!
Ok- I say liao. I m at peace!

Something worth mentioning is 6th Sep. 10 year ago on 6th September 1996 was a special day for me and her. Yes haa – you guess it. It was my first time! Ok NEXT.

There is two baby is my life now – Reyanne Lee, aint she cute? Im an uncle for real leh. And when she smiles everything & anything dosent matter as the sunshine jus brighten the room.

The other baby is this – MK25/S600 – haven had time to inhale it yet.

2006-09-05T23:49:00.000+08:00

Sunshine must shine hor :P

2006-08-31T04:02:00.000+08:00

Time has really gone by without me noticing much. Whats wrong with me? I let it slip thru my hands, too tired to notice, too busy to find out? What? What? I need to know. EPL started, they played 3 games…. That I know nothing about. This is not right. I guess everything has a closure. Someone said – the finishing line is jus another beginning. PAIN – has an element of blank; it cannot recollect; when it began – or if there were, A time when it was not. When the coy re-modelled, I thot things will work out, but I came back from leave it changed to a re-structure. Tho not the perfect terms & conditions, stupidity & willingness gave a pleasant national day surprise. Many things in the past 3 weeks, im always behind time! Here they are:

1. Father in heaven, Creator of all and source of all goodness and love, look kindly upon us and receive my heartfelt gratitude in bringing me angels. In Your infinite generosity, grant us continued graces and blessing in this relationship.

People – meet my Abi.

2. OK – now im ready to talk. I have dive hantu! Am I consider a ‘diver’ now?
Trip: 27th August at Hantu.
DM: Nil

Highlights:

Breakkie at macs
Erm.. excuse me, are u all dolphins?
Huh, bo DM one ah?
All go down look the same, follow who?
Dun care, I spotted spotted ray .. you win lor.
Prawn! Nevermind hantu, chase …
If we knew earlier, drift to channel and boat will come lor.
Skip la… can come again
Why deploy SMB at depth of 15m?
Happy Birthday Eve …

2006-08-25T03:08:00.000+08:00

Chapter 1 …

Why chapter 1? Got reason one! Bear with me .. today & tomorrow.
This time we are not talking abt any watch, cos it will be given away. If u reading this – watch is just a timepiece, I have given u something else precious.

How do you send $8888 (Eight Thousand Eight Hundred & Eighty-Eight dollars only)?
How abt I plan for you? Ang pao, mai tam sim la - $888. Then I can spend $8000 on wedding photos with Santiago :P

And if you love me – Ang pao $88. Then I can high crass abit… Shangri-La high tea reception for 90pax. Of cos you are invited la… hahaha

People always start with Chapter 1 ya? Let us start our new chapter. Page by page, word by word.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. (Cor. 13:8.)

Our prayer: Father, thank you for your limitless love which is from everlasting to everlasting. Through giving us love as a fruit of the Holy Spirit, we walk in love. Grant us grace to be patient and kind, to love without envy, jealousy nor borders; and to not ever be self-seeking. Through your power, grace and love, we walk in love, rejoicing truth, always believing and trusting, always hoping and always enduring. Father, we thank you that love never fails.

Something to call our's ...

2006-08-19T18:21:00.000+08:00

Titus titus titus …
Its still about the titus. .
I think its time, do you have red lipstick to go wit it?

We can never bring back time (pls note). Once its gone, its really gone. History/yesterday is lost forever. If we lost yesterday, how certain can tomorrow be? Make every single second & minute count for all there is …

Bro, sista, sisterhood- no one said life was fair, no one said its easy; who says is smooth sailing? Who says its all sweet & luvey? But remember – HE may not have provided a smooth passage, BUT HE certainly provides a safe landing. If HE brings u to, HE brings u through. You asked why? Suggestion: change your question to: “Why not”

Past week was really fast moving. Didn’t had time to stop, breath, think & act. Wahaha – I talking abt diving again! Sorri :P. I was asked this question: “u see yourself as what?” I did not have answers then, I think I have the answer now. Here goes: I would like to see myself achieve something in life and be somebody! in doing so; do wat I deem right and hopefully when all ends, this quest will be successful. AND by doing so.. get closer to God.

Define ‘sweet’ – Kopi-O kosong kau!

2006-08-17T02:14:00.000+08:00

I was told to give away my titus watch. . .
Its pretty hard; 1. i dun have a watch after that; 2. i like red
It aint really because of the reason you said.

But after seeing what other people went through, it doesn't matter anymore.
Hang in there okies! Easy to say; hard to do. But promise me, u will try!

Have faith in God, the sun will shine. Though dark your path may be today; His love has planned your way and mine, Have faith in God, have faith always.

Father, i want to thank You at times like these, You send angels to lend a hand while im down, to slap me awake of the path i should take, to show me the power of Your word, to light the path to Your way to Your will. Lord, i know these angels are facing testing times of their own too. bless them, Father, the courage to get thru these times of difficulties, Your armour for them to come out on top unharmed, the wisdom to make the right choices and the heart of gold to forgive those that trespass against them.

Anybody greater than anything, does it for their own approval, not someone’s else.

2006-08-15T01:14:00.000+08:00

Trip : Tioman August 4-6

Location: Tioman, Sites: All same, except marine park! steam!!
Dive buddy: Pauline, DM: Alvin, Instructor: Chris

Highlights of the trip:
1. $200, my boyfriend want come along leh ..
2. Farewell dinner... can tell they wan go tioman lor :p
3. MMS battle to mersing. Team tioman win.
4. Last pack of Sticko.. yee har. Team tioman win again!
5. Nearly had room to ourselves, nope - add one teacher.
6. Earliest for breakfast and on boat! lesson learned... who late always.
7. First aid kit, no bring no use, got bring must use.
8. Retro is nice i dun care!
9. BBQ Vs Nite dive, this time i went for BBQ
10. Sit at pub must order beer - xiao mei say one.
11. "What exactly is your relationship"
12. Seal found in tioman!
13. Staffie cannot sink, but he floated for the picture.
14. Navigator perfect square, but straight line compass spoil.
15. Navigator led us to the wreck... woot!
16. (Handsignal) I zai one, no need your octopus!

Proud of you girl! Congrats on your Advanced Open water!

2006-08-13T09:49:00.000+08:00

So, its gonna be like that. Its better to clear wat's on the plate and archives it before new memories comes. As the season comes to a close. Allow me to share another trip and one of the few memorable ones.

The trip - 21 to 23 July - Tioman With Simply Scuba - Labas, Tiger Reef, Bahara, House Reef, Renggis, Tumuk Bay. Dive with Pauline, Dorothy & Eve . DM - Meng.

Highlights of the trip:
1. Travel light, list of things to bring. Princess do not bring anything.
2. Want to see whaleshark - u know wat u have to do :P
3. Hokkien Mee no pork pls, i halal.
4. This flight is non-smoking ... ya right!
5. Oversharing on bus and disturbing other people sleeping.
6. Sticko
7. Wake up wake up (*grab grab*) - OK... awake awake!
8. And ... when its really time to wake up -- Why?
9. What is the hand signal for STOP?
10. What is the hand signal for Box fish?
11. What is the hand signal for danger?
12. Giant stride from bow
13. Diaoz
14. We saw whaleshark, didnt we?

2006-08-12T12:29:00.000+08:00

I thot i had more trips than i actually had... no! i m not cheonging dives.
Since diving with brothers & D4F - every dive is different!!
But the funny thing is i have little recollection of the 1st July trip - oh, on course.
Each dive was stressfree till we surface cos we dun know where/when/what/who is our victim.
Piangz, b4 i go on, this 1st July was Tioman - my 1st tioman with Scubahub. Date 1-2 July, Location: Pulau Tioman. Sites: Soya, Chey Bay, Malang Rock, Salang Tip, Roger Wreck. Sad thing is - i dunno if we have any pictures to prove we were there. even if have - it would not be pretty ones, shack / stress faces haahhah.

Highlights:
1. Put what u learn to use . . . learn learn learn, boat stop- use! Hi, my name is kieren ...bla bla, May i helpch you?
2. No pets allowed when you go diving hor!
3. When there is SI, pls rest - dun go play.
4. Night dive or BBQ? choose!... i keep table for you. bath n come eat. LJ understand! where got so nice one?
5. General direction --> thank you Nicholas, ur hair looks great :P
6. When i say i cannot go down, i really mean i cannot go down.
7. When boss never say cut, it is still on.
8. Esmond said: " Ho say liao, bo cheng gear lai"
9. 4 weights is not that heavy lor. BUT .. brother, i jump in for you. Dun complain liao, fact is - i jump in. the moment i knew, i jumped in.
10. The last dive was really a test for everyone. Thank you for making it happen. Thank u
11. We felt it when we found it, didnt we, simon? Nic ah, treasure that mask hor!
12. (BEST of the trip) by Nicholas Quek: "DM .... shi yao 're...spect' DE !! *piak*

2006-08-07T21:04:00.000+08:00

Yee har, leisure trip with the brothers from D4F.
Even though i was sick and didnt respond much, i enjoyed my trip very much.
Thank you bro, for showing me your turf.

Highlights of the trip:
1. Forgot passport while on SLE (close to 15mins away from custom)
2. Medication along the way by Dr Quek
3. Driving into Mersing
4. Waiting time - for speedboat (oops sorry, it left 1hour before we arrived)
5. Blue water ferry - plasma TV hahaha
6. Food, Food & Food yeah! BBQ baracuda...
7. Simon's snoring and Nicholas's "Dreamtime" stories
8. Kenny & Nic fighting video ...ho ho ho hO .... ho ho ho ....everybody wats kungfu fighting!!??
9. Swearing underwater
10. Big O on white nudi!!
11. DM's disappointment with me :)
12. Virgin photography with Simon's cam
13. 2 wrecks in ONE dive
14. School of baracuda
15. Virgin trial of harness
16. Stonefish... stoned man
17. Ang mo share air with "Tenbar" :P wahahhaha
18. Miss 4D, KNN

2006-08-07T13:26:00.000+08:00

It seems that there is too much stuff to write and im nonchalant ever since I let everything out. For those missing out, oh well… you didn’t miss much at all. :)

To cut a long story short – since leaving of SIC, life has been good. To understand is to leave, to leave is wise and to be wise you need courage.

Thank you Liza for showing what He can and will do for those who believe in Him. Since then there was December 04 Sipadan trip with Jac which gave a new perspective of life and what can be. The gathering of the Serangoon Campus was a closure of what had been and a welcoming of what could be. All is out; leave no man behind, happy that everyone got out. Glad “Specs & Tits” showed us what we can be, but I think I am not ready yet. Thank you Constance for the opportunities again and again. Last not least, Brand; lets keep the equation together ok? With you, all the way.

Lets go back when i said life started again....

May 2006
Dayang Trip 1, tried new gear. Yee har. The rugged Oceanpro is worth a go. With its integrated weight n all, it a good jacket BC.
Dive Sites includes: Teluran, Lang Bay, Torado, Channel, Pinang Bay, Raynes Rock, Aur Bay, Telok Jawa, Wreck,
Spotted: blue spotted, nudi, cushion star, lobster, hermit, mora eel, starfish, puffer, slugs, white spotted eel, tigger, lionfish, bumphead wrasse & parrot fish, 6band angelfish, barracuda, titan, yellowband fusiliers, butterfly, batfish, trevaly and lots more marine thingy.
Met: (as far as I can remember la) Ann, John, Eric, Joanne, Eve, Dorothy, Shawn, Corey, William, Ming Liang, Hui Xia, Joanna, Ice, James, Vincent.
Dayang Trip 2, met the brotherhood of D4F and the happening gang of: Simon, Nicholas, Leanne, Geraldine, Alvin, Marvin, Madeline, Eveline, Liz, Shirley.

Let the thousands paint itself better ya? Both the pictures

2006-08-03T03:47:00.000+08:00

Alas,

I wont be able to see properly for awhile, thus cant write more.
I found that this "jordan chan endorsed" 2inch brand may not be suitable for me.
This is the 3rd time it broke liao. But this time not by me. . .

Well.. in the heat of passion - she broke it.

Parting words: Please be gentle next time...

2006-07-27T12:33:00.000+08:00

Welcome welcome to my first blog, really.

Why I suddenly decide to broadcast my stuff – I have been keeping to myself and thot if one day im not able to live and tell, at least allow my legacy to live on :P (Actually hor – I express better when I write la)

Over the 22nd July weekend . . . It never occurred to me that life can one day jus be gone like that. Its too scary. I have really learned to disavow my old beliefs in light of new experience. P dear – I may not have experience what you went through, but from the look on your face (which I never saw before) I can imagine you went through hell and came back. For that I comment your calmness and admire your courage. I jus wished I should had been more sensitive and handled it a little better.

As some of you are aware – my life kinda ended in 2003. Where have I been for the past few years, lets not dwell on it. I was here, I was there, I was where? For those who stood by n supported me, I thank youS from the bottom of my heart (you know who youS are).

2006 – Present time: Life begins . . .

I have always had strong feelings during/ before the start of something good. We may have put off getting something started due to some old issues. That shouldn’t be the case, ya? Whether its new/old/ something unfolding—it is going to be like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within.

As much as someone would say: “this guy is emotional/gay” - I feel like sharing. Even if it meant im OVERsharing :P - This is a time for reflection (for you and for me). As we look back and all that has taken place, Remember the efforts u have made and the goals u have reached, Remember each experience for the good that has come of it and for the knowledge u have gained.. Remember the love u have shared and the happiness u have brought. And as we reflect on the past, also be thinking of the new to come. Lord, let this time be filled with the things that are truly good—with the comfort of warmth in our friendships/ relationships, with the strength to help those who need our help and the humility and openness to accept help from others. As we meet new people, let us go forward with great hope that all things can be possible—with Your help and guidance.

I learn - something important, not only in life or in TV, but also in one self. In God we trust, we need to be happy in whatever we do. You see in movies how love makes fools out of people, bring joy to family and not forgetting they bring hurt & sorrow too. My heart cries with those whose loved ones left them. They have to cope with the lost of someone they love. I am not ready to do that yet. The person is right in front of me.

.

There are only a few things in life that I can truly give to you. They come not in a package or a dry-bag and they cannot be found in the market. Though it may rain or I may be standing next to a hydrant, they will not quench. On those days when the sun warms your soft skin, the few things that I can truly give you will be also like the rays beating softly on your skin. What I want to give knows no bounds of time. I ask for nothing in return, but only seek to find a place in your heart. It searches for a place it may belong and stay. I cherish the moments when I am with you and remind me of you constantly when I was away from you. Hope is the beauty I see in your eyes. Trust is my heart in your hands, the most valuable thing I have. I have no fear of loss or hurt since you are the one I gave it to.

Since we never really talked about it – here is a little something for you .
Dear Father in Heaven, I do not pray for happiness or any earthly thing. I do not ask to understand the way you lead me; But this I ask—teach me to do the things that pleases You. I want to know Your guiding voice, To walk with you each day. Lord, I want her to be happy no matter what that means, even be with someone who will see her always as I see her now, through your eyes. Amen

OK, enough of you.
:P some of my ‘people’ might not like it.
I will talk about them in time to come, hang in there peeps.

To those I love and also to those I don’t:
May God make you a happy one! Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain, But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes; Not by making your path easy, But by making you sturdy to travel any path; Not by taking hardships from you, But by taking fear from your heart; Not by granting you unbroken sunshine, But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows; Not by making your life always pleasant, But by showing you when people and their causes need you most, and by making you anxious to be there to help. God’s love, peace, hope and joy to you for whatever that’s left of 2006.

Parting words for my first Flop (or blog) - It is a game you lose by refusing to play. The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.